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Gift Ideas for the 2004 Holiday Season
1: Super Harold Bloom's Major League Baseball
2: Sonic & Bill Clinton
3: Bubsy 1D
4: Halo 2 ported to the Game.com
5: Cake Gear--a device along the lines of Pro Action Replay to turn your games into cakes
6: There is no #6.
7: All Your Base to be cool/funny again.
8: Pie Eating Simulator
9: Pong Original Soundtrack
10: Bush Heroes (featuring Team Kerry: Speed = Kerry, Power = Edwards, Flying = Angry Teapot)

Good Idea/Bad Idea
1: Good idea: Super Mario RPG. Bad idea: Super Mario PPG.
2: Good idea: Mario Party. Bad idea: Mario Keggar.
3: Good idea: Getting a kiss from Peach after saving her. Bad idea: Getting a kiss from Yoshi after saving him.
4: Good idea: Playing a Mario game. Bad idea: Plying a Mario game.
5: Good idea: Using Mario games to help you get over your illness. Bad idea: Using Mario games to help you on your literary criticism paper.
6: Good idea: There is no number six. Bad idea: Six number no is there.
7: Good idea: Setting new challenges for yourself. Bad idea: Setting new challenges that involve levitating a box.
8: Good idea: Putting on a cape and trying to fly. Bad idea: Wait a second...
9: Good idea: Taking an interest in Mario and his universe. Bad idea: Taking an interest in becoming Mario and his universe.
10: Good idea: Taking time to find all of the hidden areas. Bad idea: Taking time to find all of the ways you can make the game freeze.

Mario's Tips
1: Plumbing is a life skill.
2: Converting money into lives helps out a lot.
3: Touching anyone can be hazardous to your health.
4: If you're ever stuck, jump.
5: Pipes are good for transportation.
6: ~shrugs~
7: Jumping while twirling will render you invincible to sharp things.
8: Purple/Blue=Bad Red=Good Green=Extremely Good
9: Whenever on a quest, be sure to bring along catchy music.
10: If Nintendo won't listen, bribing always works.

What Else SSBM Means
1: Supers that Smash their Brothers Much
2: Super Smart Bashing of Morale
3: Stupid Swatters for Barry Mannilow
4: Super Sweet Burrowing Machine
5: Surly Sam's Better Markers
6: Six Sabataged--
7: Seven Surfing Borrowed Monkeys
8: Slinkies that Swapped their Bodacious Matress
9: The Stumped and Stupified Banging Metal
10: Sinking Ships Bubble, Moreover

Top Ten Mario References to Make
1: When plumbers are over, dress up as Gaz and get a Geno doll, then ask them if they will play with you, holding up a Bowser doll. If possible, get your mom to say "I'm too busy to play right now!"
2: When ordering pizza, ask for Magic Mushrooms "...because I don't like Super Mushrooms."
3: Demand that you only see movies with Bob Hoskins, John Liguezamo, Samantha Mathis, Mojo Nixon, and/or Dennis Hopper in them.
4: Ask at the shoe store if they have shoes that shoot Bullet Bills to make you jump high.
5: When doing a handshake, always say "Glug glug glug!"
6: The sixth reference was already made.
7: If your mom makes you drink milk, say to her "Super Mushrooms do the job better."
8: For Halloween, get some of your friends to dress up as Luigi, Stanley, Wario, and Waluigi while you dress up as Mario.
9: Don't do the Electric Slide, do the Mario!
10: Ask people if they have a dog, and if so, if the dog is big enough to ride. If it is, exclaim, "Poochy!"
Do not perform some of these unless you want to get in trouble!

Top Ten Signs That You Actually Want to Adopt the Horrid Golem and RealGTX

Author Comment SMF Greg  Mushroom Kingdom Chancellor Posts: 746 (5/13/01 7:29:59 pm) 208.242.127.121 Reply | Edit | Del All Top Ten List OG -You Actually Want to Adopt Top Ten Signs You Actually Want to Adoptp the Horrid Golem and RealGTX 1. (For girls) You think Golem's glasses are attractive. 2. (For girls) RealGTX is cuter with a big head. ~teehee~ Realgtx  The Giant Plumber Posts: 248 (5/13/01 7:59:51 pm) 216.232.186.89 Reply | Edit | Del Re: Top Ten List OG -You Actually Want to Adopt LOL! Come on, ladies. Big heads and glasses are very attractive this year. And "Horrid" is such a harsh word... How about "Revolting" instead? SMF Greg  Mushroom Kingdom Chancellor Posts: 748 (5/13/01 8:09:32 pm) 208.242.127.121 Reply | Edit | Del Heh: 3. You pity the messed up mind of Golem. ~teehee~ Realgtx  The Giant Plumber Posts: 253 (5/15/01 6:08:04 pm) 216.232.186.89 Reply | Edit | Del Re: Heh: 4.You pity the nostalgia and emotional outbreaks RealGTX has when talking about Mario. He's... Just a great little plumber... I remember... playing his games in the '80s... I... I... *Breaks down crying* SMF Greg  Mushroom Kingdom Chancellor Posts: 755 (5/16/01 6:46:42 pm) 207.19.142.140 Reply | Edit | Del Hey! I do that! Our class recently went over folk tales, and our teacher mentioned Little Tim(or someone with that type o' name) who got sucked down a drain. I made a reference to the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, where the Mario Bros. get sucked down a drain into the Mushroom Kingdom to my friend. My friend, who always hears stuff like that at the slightest similarities between anyone and Mario, yelled back, "No, it's not Mario, Greg!" 5. You pity the fact that most visitors are officials from Tripod. ~teehee~ Mr Sgt Flutter  Little Mushroom Boy/Girl Posts: 5 (5/27/01 10:29:54 pm) 64.49.41.87 Reply | Edit | Del Re: Top Ten List OG -You Actually Want to Adopt 6. There is no sixth adoption. 7. Because you thought MB Gold would make somebody die laughing. 8. Because You wanted to capture that ghost to get big foot, so that you could use big foot to get godzilla, and use godzilla to break into area 51, and use the alien to "take you to their leader". Realgtx  The Giant Plumber Posts: 301 (6/3/01 1:33:28 pm) 216.232.186.89 Reply | Edit | Del Re: Top Ten List OG -You Actually Want to Adopt 9.You want to help Golem out because it look as if his scarf is choking him. 10.You ARE Golem or RealGTX.(Isn't this the most obvious one? )

Top Ten Signs That the Mario Crew Helped Count Florida's Votes
1: They had to count over and over. The explanation: Toad's annoying voice.
2: Bowser wanted Gore to win, so he threatened everyone that they'd count until Gore won or else.
3: Luigi got some pasta on some votes--oops!
4: Peach spent all day analyzing which hole it was on some ballots--she wanted it to be perfect.
5: Mario tried to clean up the pasta on some o' the ballots that Luigi spilled pasta on, but that just smeared the pasta onto more votes.
6: There is no sixth ballot.
7: Para Troopa's wings made ballots fly everywhere.
8: Boo Buddy scared away other counters.
9: Yoshi ate the ballots smeared with pasta.
10: Bowser got fed up with everyone, and he accidentally set some ballots on fire.

Top Ten Signs Mario is Getting Less Money from Nintendo
1: "Nifty Mario Bro" is Mario's latest game.
2: Mario actually ages.
3: Instead o' gaining a life for every 100 coins he gets, he pays off a bill.
4: At the beginning o' the game, you meet Bowser, and after you beat 'im... that's it.
5: Instead o' 120 stars, there are 12 stars.
6: There is no 6th dollar spent on Mario.
7: Mario catches a Bulbasaur.
8: Mario says, "It's-a me, can I have a quarter-a?"
9: Mario doesn't use coins to replenish his power, but cheap alcohol in a paper bag seems to work.
10: "Mario Goes Over a Friend's House" is another new title.

Top Ten Reasons Why There is No Number 6
1: It was a hideous experiment go wrong by Kamek
2: I am prejudice to 6's
3: Mario never encounters less than 6 coins in a stage(?)
4: Yoshi ate it
5: Here it comes...
6: There is no 6th reason
7: 6 got in Kirubu's Shoe and hopped away!
8: It got jealous and ventured for a 6-Up item in a Mario game
9: It's the third Mario bro that never got returned to the parents
10: It got lost in the pipes after following Mario

Top Ten Reasons Why Luigi Hasn't Left Mario
1: He tried the Cape Feather but it didn't fly.
2: Robin got jealous.
3: He didn't feel battling in a "Megazord" was right.
4: He liked Xena, but she didn't, and solved the "not flying" problem with a punch.
5: 4Kids changed his name to "Mark" and he was the town mayor. The problem in the episode was that he couldn't find his teddy bear.
6: Luigi checked #6, but when he arrived, it wasn't there.
7: His show couldn't compete with Sally Jessy Rafiel.
8: If he left, Toad would bug him in that annoying voice.
9: He wanted to work for a company that made a game with him in it more than once per system.
10: Captain Janeway assigned him as a doctor because his shirt was green. His first patient nearly died.

Top Ten Things Mario Would Never Say
1: "Forget Peach. Luigi can save her this time."
2: "Ohhhhh... I don't think I can get to that ledge. I'm going home."
3: "Bowser is way too tough for me!"
4: "Luigi, put us on Warp Core 7."
5: "Yoshi, watch what you eat."
6: "There is no number 6."
7: "Hmmmmm... a diet wouldn't be too bad."
8: "I'm hungry... let's have lunch before starting the job."
9: "Maybe Yoshi would like it a lot more if I didn't ride on him."
10: "Go kart races, parties, sports... they all suck!"

Top Ten Signs You're a Mario Cult Fan
1. You wonder why you're the only one who got Spaghetti and Meatballs in Tomao Sauce in the previous list.
2. You call Fox Family 24/7, bugging them to put the Super Mario Brothers Super Show(yes, they bought the rights) on.
3. You know what Yoshi evolved from, you know how to fit every game, arcade game, and the movie together, and you know why Toadstool is human.
4. You make sure all the mushrooms don't stick around very long because you don't want to hafta stomp Goombas and Chibobos.
5. All o' the midis and mp3s you listen to are of Mario games, and you know which stages/part of the games they were played and which games they were played in. For cinematic music, like the Mario Party intro, you know what movements what character made for each note o' the music.
6. All together now:
THERE IS NO NUMBER SIX!!!
7. When you see someone with neon died hair, you nickname them "Iggy".
8. If you have mushrooms on pizza, you look out for purple-blueish ones.
9. When you speak, the only words anybody understands from you are "Mario" and "pipe".
10. You make up weird top ten lists like me about Mario.

Top Ten Mario Foods

1: Spaghetti and Meatballs in Tomao Sauce
2: Koopa Soup
3: Hard Boiled Yoshi Eggs
4: Aunt Toadstool's Royal Syrup
5: Pizza w/ Max Mushroom Toppings
6: There is no edible number six
7: Bowser-cued Chicken
8: Cheep-Cheep 'n Chips
9: Chicken and Star Road Soup
10: Goomba and Chibibo Soup

Top Ten Signs You Bought a Microsoft Talking Wing Cap Mario Doll

1. It says, "Buy-a X-Box-a! I regret-a being on Nintendo-a!"
2. Sometimes when Mario doesn't talk, all you hafta do is tug the "Alt" "Crtl" and "Delete" tags on his back all at once.
3. It becomes obsolete as soon as you buy it.
4. When you squeeze Mario to make him talk, he asks "Would you like to continue? OK or Cancel"
5. It takes 'im a while to "download" his talking.
6. There is no number six.
7. You suddenly feel the urge to buy Windows 2000 and X-Box.
8. As many times as you try, you can't get it to do what you want even though the manual says what you're doing is the correct way.
9. He wears thick red glasses in honor o' his hero.
10. You see your Mario has a pocket protector, but somehow by now you expect it.

Top Ten Mario Shows
1: Welcome Back Plumber
2: Plumbing Improvement
3: As the Mushroom Kingdom Turns
4: The Bold and the Turtle
5: Peach: Warrior Princess
6: There is no number six.
7: Suddenly Stanly
8: Star Pipe: Warp Pipe Nine
9: Pop Pipe Video
10: Koopa Busters

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