Written by: The Gamehiker, Ditto McCloaker, Luigi of the Pipes, Luigigamer Golem, Vorp, Sapphire, Nintenfreak, and MCF Kyle X: Now Golem! I will finally destroy Party Goers!

Vectorman: And this stupid story will never make it to ten!

PG1 Golem: Why would it even make it to two...?

*At that moment, PG7 Golem rides in on the currently unnamed flying newstand device*

Flutter: *busts in* I'm here to.... great, late again.

Narrator: It seems the crew may be doomed now!

Golem: I don't think so! ~grabs PG1 Golem~

X: After them! Get in the newstand and follow them!

PG7 Golem: Ack! How does this thing work...!? *presses random buttons*

Luigi64: Don't do that ki----

~They leap forward in the future, they land in a fiery pit~

Narrator: *catching up from past* The group has went into the future, what sort of depressing future is this?

Narrator Newbie: As Flutter, Masa and- .... wait a second... that's Robert Stack!

Narrator: Who are you! When is this?

Narrator Newbie: Party Goers 17 dude, you should be in jail!

~Meanwhile... Masamune finds a door leading to a tall control tower. At the top, he finds a red, bearded guy~

Lucifer: Hi! Hey, *directs his view to a view screen, labeled, 'Hellevision'* take a look at this.

*in another chamber, a VERY muscular guy pushes a boulder up a steep cliff, only to have it roll down again*

Sisyphus: Oh, PLEASE, may I have someone to help me with this?

Flutter: *coming in* ...That looks hard.

Sisyphus: It is. *wipes brow*

Flutter: Hey, can I help?

Sisyphus: Er... heh, heh, well, I don't think that's allo-

Flutter: Stand back. ~walks up, and spits on his hands~

*Flutter pushes the rock up the cliff, only to have it roll off to the side and back down a slope. It crashes into the guy, imbedding him in the wall*

Flutter: Ooops. Uh... I better help him out.

*He pushes the boulder up the cliff again, only to have it roll back down again, crushing the guy again*

Flutter: Well, darn.

*pushes it up again, only to have it roll down again at the last second, rolls back into the guy with a crunch*

Flutter: Well, darn.

*pushes it up again, only to have it roll down again at the last second*

Flutter: Well darn.

*goes to get it again* Sisyphus: ~screaming from rock wall~ I TAKE IT BACK! THIS GUY IS WORSE! PLEASE!

Flutter: Hm... I'll get it THIS time.

*in the tower, Lucifer chuckles*

Lucifer: *turns to Masamune in corner* As you can see, there is no hope for your friends. Now, in this next chamber, your friend Fuzzball has wantdered into a room where he is waist deep in Gamecube controllers, with a tree in the center with several games hanging from the branches. The catch is, when he reaches for a game, the branches pull away, and when he bends for a controller, they wiggle away. He shall spend eternity totally frustrated!

Masamune: Oh?

*They turn to look into the room. Fuzzball is sitting on the trunk of the fallen tree, playing Pikmin. A chainsaw lies in the corner. Several controllers huddle cowering in a corner, away from the remains of a controller blown to smithereens*

Lucifer: O.o;;

Masa: And look!

*Frantically, Lucifer turns to another room. Flutter is airlifting the boulder to the top of the cliff, with Sisyphus directing*

Lucifer: NO! He's spoiling EVERYTHING! *runs out of the room*

Masa: Man, he's mad as He- hey, what's this? *finds a huge red book* Oh! This is the Directory! Now, where's Guisseppie... Aha! He's currently residing with... Whoa. Dark Ditto...? That ain't good.

Flutter: ~returns~ So, what did Lucie have to say?

Masa: Dark Guisseppie... he's with Dark Ditto.

Flutter: No kidding.

Fuzzy: *is looking around* Oh look, Golem is here. *points to a screen*

Masa: How did he...? *looks* Hey! There's two Golems! And X.. thought he wasn't in this OG... Luigi64....? O_O

Flutter: LET ME SEE THAT! *looks* Oh gawsh...

Masa: Freaky....

~Meanwhile~

~Ditto and Golem collide into Vorpal and Luigi, who are madly trying to find eachother~

PG17 Golem: There you guys are! We just found out-

Vorpal: *heeve* Guisseppie is in three peices!

Everyone: ......

Luigi: I guess that brings us up to date.

Ditto: Huh, so what happened... your Star Wars obsession finally kill you?

Luigi: .......

PG17: We also found out some of the old PG enemies are back in HECK!

Ditto: Poor guys... when Flutter, Masa and Fuzzy find 'em... have mercy on their souls....

Vorpal: They're in heck to begin with, how could it get worse for them?

Ditto: Good point... we better take the Hellevator down.

~Elsewhere~

Sapphire: *sits* That's it! This is hopeless! Let's just go fto Heck and get this over with.

Yoshiman: That sounded very unoptimistic.

Sapphire: Bah.

Elzie: Aww give it a break guys!

~They continue to quarrel, unknowningly sinking further to Heck~

----------------------------

PG1 Golem: Hoo boy.... this place is hot.

Luigi64: Oh boy... I've done it now... *gulp*

PG7 Golem: Conviction getting you?

X: Hehehe... we're not dead.... are we?

PG7 Flutter: Not sure, but I noticed Golemn and I suddenly got PG7 tacked on our nametags ~motions to shirt~

PG7 Golem: How about that! We must be in another Party Goers episode...

PG7 Flutter: *covers eyes* Oh no! SPOILERS! My virgin eyes!

~Meanwhile~

Narrator: Listen you two-bit newbie! I've been in the OG narrating business for YEARS!

Narrator Newbie: AS A CRIMINAL!

Narrator: Grrrr....

Luigi64: Beh, this place ain't no good fo' no' playah hata dawg like me! Time for me to slick jiggy outta here, lick smack!

*he tries to disappear in a puff of smoke, but it doesn't work, and he reappears in the same spot, looking like an idiot*

L64: *clicks his shoes together three times* L is Real, L is Real, L is Real...

*looks down*

L64: L is dead. *in normal voice* Oh, why did I not take the opportunity to seize the graceful light of Heav'n when I did'st have the chance, that I might not be standing here now, hopeless, in the Bottomless Pit, in the Eternal Fire? O, great God Almighty, is it not possible to yet spare mercy upon this so-

Nearby Villain: We're breakin' outta here in 5 minutes to take over Heaven.

L64: *in his typical voice* Coo' Let's roll.

*he gets in line behind a procession of shady looking characters on their way somewhere*

Hell64: Hah! Sayonara, Satan dudes! L is outta here! *taps shoulder of guy in front of him* So, how do we get out?

X (of the present): The boss will get us out easy.

Hell64: Awesome. And who is this boss?

*they all enter the chamber, to see... Dark Ditto!*

Ditto: Well... look what we have here... The guy who used to call me unflattering names!

Hell64: Wow. I ain't never been screwed THIS fast.

*gets thrown out, falls over cliff to very lowest level of Hell, and lands in one of the Beast's three mouths, which begins to chew him for eternity*

Female Grim Reaper: ...and remember, passengers, to please keep your hands and feet inside the Hellevator at all times. Thank you, and have a nice death... err... drop.

*Ditto, Golem, Vorpal, and Luigi are stuffed like sardines in a 2' x 4' box, made of a glass that glows red.*

Golem: Drop?

Vorpal: I'd be more worried about the death part...

*The female Grim Reaper reaches up with her scythe and slices the rope holding the Hellevator in place. It immediately screeches down a black pit, raging with flames to each side. The four occupants scream their lungs out as they plunge.*

Luigi: We could really use a plot hole right now!!!

Others: :/

Luigi: Or not!

*The Hellevator shatters as it hits the broken asphault floors of Hell.*

Reaper: Darn. Lose more Hellevators that way...

*The quartet crawl out of the shattered glass, quaking with shock.*

Reaper: Welcome to the end of souls. The eternal resting place of the unfaithful. The rot of the universe. The...

Ditto: We're looking for someone. About yay-high, cubical, goes by the name Guisseppie.

Reaper: Oh... uhh.... never heard of him...

Ditto: Blast...

Golem: *looking around* Aw man... this place is like an Indiana Jones movie gone bad...

*A small lizard creeps up from a nearby crack in the floor.*

Chibi Devil: You can say that again.

Golem: Aw man... this place is like an Indiana Jones movie gone bad...

CD: You can say that again.

Golem: Aw man... this place is like an Indiana Jones movie gone bad...

CD: You can say that again.

Golem: Aw man... this place is like an Indiana Jones movie gone bad...

CD: You can...

*Vorpal stomps on CD with his foot.*

Golem: Aw man... this place is like an Indiana Jones movie gone bad...

Ditto: Golem?

Golem: Aw man... this place is like an Indiana Jones movie gone bad...

Ditto: Blast again... okay, Luigi, you carry him with us.

Luigi: What?!

Ditto: *stern glance*

Luigi: Don't give me that look...

Ditto: *evil eye*

Luigi: *grumble grumble* All right, all right...

*Luigi throws Golem over his shoulder and chases after Ditto and Vorp. Chibi Devil follows...*

Golem: Aw man... this place is like an Indiana Jones movie gone bad...

Luigi: -.-;

Ditto: ~waves "Hi" to Dante's publisher~

Flutter: Wow, so that was me... dang I looked good.

Fuzzball: Bah.

Masa: yeah, what he said... get over yourself.

Flutter: *glares*

Masa: ANYWAYS... We know where Dark Guiseppie is now, with Dark Ditto... So how about we go torment them?

Flutter: No wait! I'll be scarred for life... or up 'til now at least.

Fuzzball: *raises eyebrow* Sounds better by the second.

Masa: *looks at screen* Hmm... a new entry... Luigi64... O_O I didn't know heck went so deep...

Fuzzball: *looks* It wasn't Lucifer, someone must've tossed him down there.

Masa: *shudders as he watches Luigi64 suffer through CENSOR CENSORED CENSOR CENSORED CENSOR CENSORED CENSOR CENSORED CENSOR* Oi... no one deserves THAT...

Fuzzball and Flutter: *nods in awe*

Masa: So uhh... let's go see what they're doing down there, eh?

~MEANWHILE~

Narrator: I'm telling you--

~ELSEWHERE~

Ditto: *finishes strapping Golem's mouth shut* If that doesn't shut him up...

Golem: Mm mmph ummph mmph hummph hurmmph!

Luigi: *sweatdrop*

Vorpal: *looks around* Now this place has style! Wowee, I'll have to get the name of the person who decorates this place.

Golem: *sweatdrop*

~ABOVE...~

Elzie: That's it! Wha...

Yoshiman: *starts slipping* Noooo....!

Sapphire: *looks behind them, seeing Heck just over the cliff*

Elzie: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! *slips and falls*

Yoshiman: Ha! You deserved it sucka! *falls as well*

Sapphire: Hmmph, at least they won't bother me now... *also falls*

Narrator Newbie: HECK...

Ditto: Ok, now Masa, Flutter and Fuzzball oughta know where Dark Guiseppie... considering how nice Saph, Yoshiman and Ezlie are, they are probably already out of Puragatory and in...

*Saph, Elzie and Yoshiman crash in front of them*

Luigi: Heck...?

Vorpal: Hey Yoshiman! Look at this place, ain't it great?

Ditto: Wonderful... -_-

PG7 Golem: ~ahem~ ~raises hand with index finger pointing upward~ U.U Aren't we supposed to be setting Party Goers straight?

PG1 Golem: ~chuckles at the name~

PG7 Vectorman: Yeah! C'mon, we're getting jipped. They didn't even let us go on the Hellavator.

PG7 Zero: Hold up, the tea's almost done. ~is holding tea cup over fires in the center~

Vorpal: Gore-illa!

Gore-illa: Yessir!

Vorpal: You shall be my lacky until I get Goom and Ba back! get it?

Gore-illa: Got it.

Vorpal: Good.

Vorpal: Golem!

Golem: Aw man... this place is like an Indiana Jones movie gone bad...

Vorpal: *slaps Golem* Golem! Snap out of it!

PG7 Golem: *from behind* Out of what?

Vorpal: Golem?

PG7 Golem: Do I know you?

Vorpal: *turns back to PG17 Golem then to PG 7 Golem then back again* Golem?

PG1 Golem: *from behind again* That's my name!

Narrator: Vorpal stands blankly looking to each of the Golems in utter silence.

Vorpal: How did . . . why did . . .

PG7 Golem: We used this pen-

Vorpal: *eyes light up* The TASTS?

PG7 Golem: Is that what it's called?

Vorpal: *gets evil idea and grins accordingly* Eh, Golem, buddy, where is this pen-thing of yours?

PG7 Golem: Over there. Do I know you?

Vorpal: You will in about three more episodes!

Newbie Narrator: And, uh, Vor-Vorpal runs to . . . to the TASTS--

Narrator: Outta the way kid! Vorpal throws several switches on the TASTS, jams a rainbow lollipop into a socket and in a flash of light, nothing happens, or so it seems . . .

PG7 Golem: What was that about?

Vorpal: Oh, nothing . . . I've just discovered the perfect way to destroy the Party Goers, that's all!

PG7 Golem: You're evil?

Vorpal: Why do you think I have the purple and black spandex?

PG7 Golem: toucheé

Vorpal: Mwhaha! I'd like you to meet, the new and improved V-Team! Gore-illa you've met, but there may be some you may not recognize! First! My loyal henchmen: Metal Mario, Roy, Tech. Sgt. Toad, Goom and Ba!

Narrator: Metal Mario, Roy, TST, Goom and Ba step out of the TASTS.

Vorpal: Vorpal from Party Goers 10, my gun-slinging counterpart who introduced himself to the Party Goers series by use of the TASTS secretly used in the first Rocketsville OG!

Vorpal from Party Goers 11, My totally evil twin who has not yet been plauged by Stryke!

Vorpal and Party Goers 12, Although he looks to reepay for the deeds he did in Party Goers 11, he still has my significant brain mass!

Vorpal the Arab Dude, my counter-part from Party Goers 14 who took over Arab Dude's Shop after X killed Arab Dude in Party Goers 1 in Party Goers 7!

PG7 Golem: Wow! This is totally hurting my head!

Vorpal: Ha ha ha! With my brain power multiplied by 5, and the help of my faithful crew from seasons past, I shall be rid of the Party Goers once and for all!

Narrator: Is this the end of the Party Goers? Has Vorpal lost his mind? What are all the other Party Goers doing while this is going on?

Masamune: That's what I'd like to know

PG7 Zero: Well, I know what I was doing! I was brewing up some tea!

PG7 X: Shut up! Less talk. More tea.

Ditto: *sigh* Has Party Goers hit a new low?

Narrator: Hey! I'm asking the questions here! Or is this all some dream sequence that may possibly be happening in Vorpal's head which will be totally disregarded in the next post? Most likely, none of these questions will be answered: NEXT TIME! Same Party Time! Same Party Channel!

Masa: Ok, just a second everyone! Let's get a count here! Golem!

PG1, 7 and 17 Golem: Yes?

Masa: Three good... Ditto?

Ditto: Masa... just quit.

PG7 Flutter: Err... they just took off in the... TARTS?

PG17 Flutter: TASTS.

PG7 Flutter: *looks to PG7 Golem: Crappy name, let's make it different.

Elzie: Well, We have what? Five Vorpals and his crew of do-badders? What's the worst could happen.

Luigi: Yeah, I mean this is JUST an OG.

*All PG7 or 17 Party Goers stare in awe*

Masa: JUST an OG...?

Luigi: *gulp* Uh...

Ditto: *looks up* BACK ON PLOT PLEASE! We are looking for Guiseppie! I know VGF went down and all but-

PG7 Golem: VGF go down.... O_O

*The cast of PG7 characters mourn*

Ditto: ANYWAYS... we'll let Vorpal do what he wants while we get Guiseppie. 'sides, I have a secret weapon. *leans to Masa* President Vorpal...

Masa: *snickers*

Elzie: *leans over* So what do we do with all of THEM.

PG17 Golem: They're stuck here without the TASTS!

~MEANWHILE~

Dark Ditto: *watches* Five Vorpals!? Bah! Not even twenty Vorpals can stop me!

PG17 Golem: ~notices he's stopped saying the same annoying thing over and over~ Well, they WOULD be a good deal o' help to us when battling these guys.

Masa: Who said we needed to fight?

Narrator: Meanwhile...

Saph: Looks grim. Glad we didn't decide to go down there with them.

Yoshiman: ~is bored and looking around~ Hey, look! Guesseppie! ...Or at least part o' him, looks like he has no question mark... But !

Saph: !

Narrator: Sapphire and Yoshiman, with their auspicious attitudes, scale the mountain quickly with no hassle.

Saph: Hey, Guesseppie! Come with us! We've been looking for you all over!

Guesseppie: ~looks to where Saph and YM have been~ WAH! No, no... Eep... I was just watching the action down there, pretty tense...

Narrator: Sapphire and Yoshiman start to slip...

YM: Well, if you won't come by choice, then ~wraps Guesseppie up in his tongue~

Narrator: By choice or by their doubt, now Sapphire and Yoshiman are heading down the mountain at full speed.

Luigi: At least I'm not in multiples. That would just get freaky...

Ditto: Tell me about it.

PG17 Vorpal: AHEM! Now that we are in this scenic place, with all your mortal opponents waiting to destroy you...

Luigi: I'm the new guy! I have no mortal opponents!

Narrator: Chibi Devil climbs onto Luigi's shoulder.

Luigi: Aw nuts...

PG17 Vorpal: What better place for me to topple you all then here, in heck. Of all places. Convenient, isn't it?

Narrator: The Golems, Ditto, Masa, Elzie, Flutter, Fuzzball, Luigi, the Narrators, etc. etc. become surrounded. Goom and Ba deftly pick up the TASTS and run into the bowels of Hell with it.

PG17 Vorpal: Thought you'd use TASTS to get President Vorpal, huh?! Sorry, you lose! Quick! Fetch the party hats! We're gonna celebrate!

PG7 Golem: Celebrate? We haven't even been defeated yet.

PG17 Vorpal: You can't beat me, though. Not with...

Narrator: PG17 Vorpal counts the V-Team.

PG17 Vorpal: Eleven on my side, five of which are mes! Now comrades, let us laugh maniacally as we dominate this OG series, once and for all!

*** PG 7, 17 Golems: ~thinking~ I'm the smallest one here... I could make a dash for the pen/TASTS and get past the V-Team while they're taking their sweet time!

Narrator: The Party Goers 7 and 17 Golems make a run for it, trying to keep their feet as light as possible. In the rush, PG 7 Golem mashes Sergeant Toad's foot, but both are soon hot on the trail of Goom and Ba, and both feeling the heat.

Sgt. Toad: YOWWW! Wha--~looks back to see two Golems running away~--HEY! Look!

Narrator: The V-Team turns around to see with their own eyes the two scrawny author characters getting away. Just then, Yoshiman flings the Guesseppie part at Ditto, who catches it.

Ditto: ~looks at his hand~ ... ...

~Ditto holds the block piece over his head~

Ditto: I got that Guisseppie piece! *does 'v' sign*

Zelda III-style Narrator: Wow! You got the Guisseppie piece, "Neutral"! With it, you can change into neutral characters!

PG 7 Golem: I never did like those games. *continues running*

PG 17 Golem: They're planning a sequel for the Gamecube.

PG 7 Golem: The what?

PG 17 Golem: Oh, right, you're not supposed to know about that.

PG 7 Golem: Is that this 'Dolphin' everyone's talking about?

PG 17 Golem: Just keep running. We need that TASTS! If we don't get you back... THERE MAY NOT BE A PARTY GOERS!

PG 7: But... if that were what was eventually going to happen, wouldn't we have disappeared already?

PG 17: You're right. That must mean we win somehow!

PG 7: Well, that's a boost.

~Meanwhile, Vorpal and his gang of... Vorpals... prepare to close in~

Ditto: It's SHOWTIME! Okay, buddy. Time to take care of these nogoodniks! Turn me into something that can trash them! Uh... Bowser!

*he punches Guisseppie. Nothing pops out*

Ditto: I don't get it...?

Guisseppie: Sorry, Ditto. I'm just the Neutral one. I can only turn ya into neutral characters.

Ditto: Oh, man. Well, think Ditto, think. Neutral character... neutral character... C'mon, Ditto, I've gotten out of worse things than this, right? What's a neutral character who can still get me out of a mess?

Announcer: Will the Party Goers escape, or will they get trounced by the terrible Vorpals? You can help them get out by writing to Post Party Goer's Cereal with your suggestion for what Ditto can turn into! Just fill out the back panel on the Party Goers cereal box and send it in, and YOU can help the PG gang get out of this mess!

Ditto: Heh heh heh... worth a shot.

~Meanwhile~ Goom: They're gaining! What do we do?!

Ba: *with TASTS pen in his mouth* MMph mphr dr. (translation: "Look over there.")

*tilts his head at a row of parked golden chariots*

Goom: Quick! Onto the Chariots of Fire!

*they jump for one of the chariots. Everything starts to go slowly. The theme 'Chariots of Fire' by Vangelis begins playing*

Golem 7: They're getting away! After them!

*they both jump onto a Chariot of Fire. Things begin to go slowly for them, too, as the theme plays on*

~Theme 'Chariots of Fire' by Vangelis begins to play during this part of the chase. Chase is shown by a series of slowly played, dramatic clips~

Golems: *look toward escaping chariot with hope*

Goom and Ba: *look back, then at each other, dramatically*

*they slowly approach a cliff over a river of fire. Goom and Ba's chariot speeds to the edge and flies off, plunges downward, yet continues to go over the fire, and the pen flies out of Ba's mouth. Dramatically, the Golems' chariot follows, plunges toward the fire, yet continues as well. The Golem not driving rips off his scarf, and uses it as a whip, which flies up and catches the pen*

*end music*

Ditto: ~who was swaying to the tune, suddenly comes to his senses to see everyone looking at him~ What?! I happen to like fine music. Yeesh. I guess my tastes are just more refined than anyone else's and...

Masamune: Will you just shut up? They got the stupid pen.

Ditto: I'm sorry. *sniff*

PG12 Vorp: ^_^ Did anyone know I like that song?

Vorpals: SHUT UP!

PG17 Vorp: Okay, we need a plan to destroy the Party Goers before those Party Goers cereal suggestions come in.

PG10 Vorp: Heh, heh! Crazy Harry! Blow up story!

Vorpals: NO DON'T!

Narrator: The Vorpals stop PG10 Vorpal from pushing down the cartoon fuse box.

PG17 Vorp: I wonder if anyone got that joke? I don't think anyone was around in PG10.

PG17 Golem: I was.

PG17 Vorp: Well, except for you of course 9.9

Narrator: Will the Vorpals stop talking amongst themselves and actually carry out the act of destroying the Party Goers? How are they going to manage such a task? Will Goom and Ba ever stop plummetting? Find out . . . right now!

Goom & Ba: AAAAAHHHHHHH!

CRAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAaaAAaAashhhhhhhh . . . .

Reader: Lousy cereal. ~throws away box after mailing suggestion~

PG17 Golem: ~slams fist into open palm~ Now we can fix this all!

~PG7 Golem quickly unwraps the pen and puts his scarf on, then he clicks the pen.~

Pen: ~disappating sound~ Weebweebweeb. ~nothing happens~

~The Mysterious Figure appears in the chariot.~

Mysterious Figure: Good guys always finish last in Tartarus.

Sapphire: Wonderful. We're forgotten again. Though that's not such a bad thing, we still have the element of surprise.

Yoshiman: What do you mean?

Sapphire: Considering we slid off this mountain, and still have the Guissippe piece, we're back down here for a reason.

(She points off into the distance, where the Vorpal Gang and others are gathered.)

Yoshiman: O_o; looks like a gang of Vorpals.

Sapphire: Oh, you should talk.

Yoshiman: Couldn't we have stayed out of it?

Sapphire: Considering it's up to me to get them out of this mess.. eh, maybe I should just let them suffer.

Yoshiman: O.O You wouldn't!

Sapphire: I'm down here, aren't I? :: scowls ::

Yoshiman: But we'll never get out if we don't help them! Besides.. it'll up my status from an 'ordinary run of the mill character' for once.

(Saph and Yoshiman set off, hoping to maintain the element of surprise in their characters having been temporarily ressurected. Ditto still tries desperately to think of a neutral character, as the cast awaits it's cereal boxes. Though that may prove completely unnecessary.)

Yoshiman: ~whisper~ What are we going to do? Scream like little girls with heaps of helium in them until they explode?

Saph: ~whisper~ Yesss, that's it--No, wait! ~shakes her head~ We could always use my pikachu...

Yoshiman: But they're metal-clad... Such a creature's attacks wouldn't work.

Saphire: ... ...

Flutter PG 7: So did they ever fix that Bosnia problem

Flutter PG 17: nope, but you won't have to worry about that!

Flutter PG 7: then what?

Flutter PG 17: Lawyers, fear the Lawyer

Elzie: would you two just shut up?

Both Flutters: No.

Elzie: why did I ask?

[Somewhere in a Giant Darth Vader Helmet, 6 inches under Denver...]

Vex Uthor: The meeting of the Doom Leauge of Denver will come to order. Roll Call is our first assignment: Donkey Kong, She CATS, Zombied00d, Sinister, Jiganticon, BlueGill, Commander Warm, Bill Gates, StuporMan, Funnycrow, Klue, Maniak, and I Vex Uthor all seem to be here. If I you are not here, please speak up.

No one: I'm Here

Vex: Sure you are, would our treasurer please stand up, and deliever their report.

Zombied00d: Last Month we had 30,000,000,000 dollars in our treasury, however, this month we have only 15,000,000. It turns out, the Giant Darth Vader head cost more than we expected.

Donkey Kong: *gasp* We may have to be hired out by people from other non-profit Crime organizations.

Sinister: With my Blue Power Thing, we can just create out own money!

Bill Gates: Only Canadian Money is Blue.

BlueGill: Whats a Canada?

FunnyCrow: Some type of Bacon! Ha ha ha ha!

[Commander Warn catches Funny Crow on fire]

Commander Warm: Well, It was either him or me.

Doorbell: Hey, knotheads, someone is at the door.

SheCATS: Someone get young doorbell

[Medium enters the room]

Medium: Hello, on behalf of my deceased master, I bid you good tidings of great...

Jiganticon: Oh I love this story!

Medium: No my master wants you to capture and kill this person.

[Medium shows them a photo of Golem]

Vex: and who praytell is your master?

Medium: Arab Dude!

Maniak: *gasp*

Stuporman: What was that for?

Maniak: Dunno, kinda added an effect to the moment, didn't it?

Everyone else: ¬.¬

Vex: Okayyyyy... FunnyCrow, Commander Warm, and Jiganticon, you take this mission.

Medium: So far as I can tell he's in... Maryland. Just arrived there from time traveling.

Commander Warm: Where in Maryland?

Medium: I'll lead you as we go along.

Jiganticon: Sounds fun! !!!

Random Narrator: Meanwhile... PG17 Golem: You don't wanna fall in a lava pit, do you?

PG7 Golem: ~shakes head "No" rapidly~ Are we gonna...

PG17 Golem: Get ready to jump! We should be able to bounce off the gooms ahead to safe land!
...Now!

Medium: Onward! To the Bus!

[Medium, Jiganticon, Commander Warm, and FunnyCrow make their way to the bus.]

Jiganticon: How much is Fare?

Bus Driver: [taps sign that says "Do not talk to Bus driver"]

Jiganticon: Woops, sorry.

Bus Driver: *Taps the sign*

Jiganticon: But I really need to know fare!

Bus Driver: Don't make me tap the sign.

Jiganticon: But...

Bus Driver: *Taps the sign*

Commander Warm: Let me sit there!

NintF Jr.: Sorry mack, seat's taken.

Commander Warm: But I want to sit there!

NintF Jr.: But I was here first!

Both: Grrrr!

Funny Crow: Sounds like he's giving you the cold shoulder nyuk nyuk nyuk!

[both Commander Wark and NintF Jr. hit Funny Crow, and shake hands]

The dual Golems spring forward while the Goombas fall back.

Sound FX Guy: "Mario Jumping Sound" x 2

They bounce off the two Goombas and spring back up the cliff, squishing the two Goombas into the floor of their chariot.

PG17 Golem: We made it!

PG7 Golem: Can I faint now?

PG17 Golem: Better not. This ain't for the faint of heart.

PG7 Golem: Okay. *isn't fainting* Now, what's wrong with the TASTS? Has it ever done this before... er, that is, will it ever do this, uh... prior to now?

PG17 Golem: Hmm... Wait, yeah. Just between Party Goers 7 and 8, it ran out of juice for a second. It never made it into a story. I went on a wild adventure that never got written wherein I had to refill it with ink.

PG7: Oh, okay. Hm... So, where in Heck are you supposed to get ink in Heck?

~Meanwhile~

Narrator: Back across the river of fire, the rest of the gang are all sitting in bleachers, watching the struggle of the Gooms n' Golems.

Narrator Jr.: At that moment, a strange little red imp in a black and white striped referee outfit steps out and fires a gun into the air.

Satan: *up in announcer's booth* And that's halftime, folks! Here come the team's mascots. And for the Heck team, here come... the Hades Hotties!

*a group of evil-looking seductive women come out and begin doing various evil-related cheers*

Satan: ...and representing the Visiting Team... The Saints!

*several important-looking, bearded men come out and begin cheering in a dignified and regal manner*

Sapphire: I think I begin to see why good has such a PR problem.

Ditto: ~gets idea~ *to all the Vorpals* Hey, who wants some 'dogs n' drinks?

~All the Vorpals raise their hands, and they begin arguing over who has to get them~

Other Vorpals: Hey, we're all your guests! You have to get them for us!

Vorpal: Darn. You're all right. Okay then... *goes off to get dogs*

Sapphire: But Ditto, how did you know he'd agree?

Ditto: Because of his strict, upper-crust background, Vorpal, even in his evilest of moods, is drawn to use proper manners.

*all the other Vorpals are fixed on the Heck Cheerleaders*

Saph: Okay, so we're all escaping now?

Ditto: Yep. But first...

*the good guys all begin to sneak off, but Ditto lags just behind, and goes up to where Vorpal is talking to the 'dog vendor*

Vorpal: I'll take... Uh... *counts* eight dogs, seven Dr. Peppers, and one Diet Dr. Pepper.

Hot Dog Vendor: That'll be forty bucks.

Vorpal: FORTY BUCKS?!

Hot Dog Vendor: It's Heck. What do you expect?

Vorpal: Darn... oh, okay. *hands over money* Hey, can I get a carrying box?

Hot Dog Vendor: Nope.

Vorpal: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY ALL THIS?!

Ditto: *sidles up* Here, let me hold that for ya. *takes ? Block off his hands*

Vorpal: Thanks, buddy. *takes food and walks back to the stands. Ditto giggles and runs off with Good Guisseppie*

Wasuki: Bum Bum Bummmm. I appear out of nowhere! Hmm...I'm not in my bed anymore!

Whoever the Narrator is Now: Something lands on the Golems' feet.

PG7/17 Golem: AAAAAAAAGH!

Wasuki: AH! Oh, sorry... ~steps away from Golems~ WAH! Am I seeing double?!

WtNiN: Ditto has two Guesseppie pieces, one from Heaven, one from Heck...
Looks like he will have to search and climb Purgatory.

Ditto: I'll go get the others...

PG7 Golem: Who are YOU?!

PG17 Golem: Doesn't matter, fix the darn loophole! Get back to Heaven!

PG7 Golem: Uh, right! ~looks past the Vorpal Crew to see Purgatory just twenty or so yards away~

Narrator: Meanwhile, back in PG17, Moondo is trapped, sitting at a bar...

Moondo: ~into tape recorder~ It has been exactly two hours since I broke in, an hour and a half since I was locked in this bar by strange monkies. The other guests are worrying me. If only I could escape, I could find out what this McCloaker fellow is planning and stop it.
Signing off. ~clicks tape recorder "off"~ ...
...Hey, Bar Man, a water... "on the rocks. ~to self~ I've a plan...
~turns to reader~ To be continued in PG17.

PG7 Golem: Ok! We can go into the TASTS again!

Masa: What about the Vorpals?

Ditto: We can't stop them like this.

PG7Flutter: I know! *whirls around dramatically* LET'S GET BACKUP! RAR!

PG1 Golem: Uh... from where?

PG17 Flutter: Hm.. another Party Goes story?

Luigi: Don't look at me, We just met... or we will meet... or er... whatever...

Masa: Tsk tsk, common time problem. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says the trouble with time is not becoming your own mother or father or such, but more so what verb tense to use in such situations...

Ditto: So?

Masa: Let's go to Party Goers 13!

PG17 Flutter: Could it be, perhaps, because YOU started there?

Masa: That and seeing PG13 tacked on people would be cool, give ya the feeling of it being a mature story.

Narrator: Meanwhile the V-Team spies on them...

PG17 Vorpal: GREAT! Now they know were here!

Elzie: I wonder where the Vorpals are?

PG14 Vorpal: O_o

PG1 Golem: *activates TASTS* It's the V-Team! Everyone get in....!

PG17 Golem: Wait! I just suddenly remembered something I forgot!

Masa: Golly, I don't remember THIS in the script...

Ditto: (New addition... inconsistency probably)

PG7 Golem: The TASTS won't work in Heck!

Elzie: Why?

Golems: ............

Luigi: Maybe if I use the force....

~The Vorpals jump in~

PG 14 Vorpal: You thought you could outwit us! Well HA! We shall use a Plothole and send you all to heaven!

PG17 Vorpal: We WILL?

PG10 Vorpal: I dont think this is a good idea...

PG14 Vorpal: HAIYA!!!!!!

~PG14 Vorpal rushes over, flips off the life, runs around waving a flashlight, flips the light on and they are all in Heaven~

Masa: Umm... INTO THE TASTS!

*The Three Golems, Two Flutters, Cast of Random PG Oldbies, Ditto, Neutral and Good Guiseppie, Masa, Luigi, Elzie, Yoshiman and Sapphire (who fell from a plot hole), Fuzzball, Moondo (who ALSO came in through a sudden plothole), and PG10, PG14 Vorpal, and Dark Ditto (for unknown reasons) all make it into the TASTS. To make it even more exciting, Masa bangs the control and sends it flying through the very unhealthy-looking fabric of time!*

PG17 Masa: Where are we... *looks down* ARGH! I have a nametag!

PG1 Golem: You know, this nametag business is getting old...

PG17 Saph: Where are we? And how did we get by the TASTS?

Luigi: Ha! No nametag!

Elzie: Hey Ditto, you look ill. Something wrong?

PG17 Ditto: o_o We just landed in a spinoff....

PG14 Vorpal: *glances around* Ooh! We just did this! The Halloween Haunter!

PG17 Flutter: Dun dun dun...

PG7 Flutter: Hey, anyone got a script of this? I haven't a clue what's supposed to happen.

Narrator: MEANWHILE...

Dark Ditto: Dittojuice...

Dittojuice: *whirls around* *eyes narrow* Who are you!?

~Elsewhere~ PG17 Golem: ~noogying his head like mad~ The story, the story!

PG7 Golem: Well I'm not leaving MY newsstand.

Flutter: ~flying about~ Ooh, I wonder if they have any water with extra ice around here...

Narrator: Party Goers 7's Golem picks up a heavy book after kicking it.

Golem: ~reading cover~ Manual to TASTS...
Time and Space Travelling System...
~opens cover~ Let's see if there's anything in the table o' contents about story loopholes...
Narrator: Meanwhile, Replaforce pulls up next to the TASTS in a black race car with dark, shiny color comparable to that of a limo...

*everyone in the crowded TASTS whips their head around to look at Replaforce, causing such a wind whip, the TASTS teeters, but doesn't quite fall over*

Vile: Uh oh. Dang. I guess we ended up here after all.

Sapphire: Whoa, what are THEY doing here?

X: HEY! It's YOU GUYS!

Everyone: *waves fingers, in slightly baffled manner*

Zero: How do you like that? It's the Party Goers from long ago! How smashing! Would anyone care for some tea?

X: SHADDAP, ZERO! *turns to gang* Heh, well, isn't this fortuitous? *begins powering up laser gun*

Ditto: What are you guys doing here? You weren't in Halloween Haunter... *thinks* ...were you? *looks around* Anybody got a script?

A Hundred Voices: No.

One voice: Yes.

Ditto: What was that? Who was it?

One voice: *snicker*

Ditto: D'oh. Well, we'll never know. In any case, let's get out o' this newsstand. Gad, everyone piling into a small space... what is this, College?

*they all begin leaving the TASTS, and it turns into a large procession, like a hundred clowns coming out of a tiny car*

Ditto: Okay, what's going on? I demand to know how you guys got here!

X: Him. *points*

*everyone looks up to see... a giant transparent fish in the sky*

Everyone: o_O

Yoshiman: Who are YOU?

Fish: I am the one from the afterlife overseeing this adventure... I transcend time and space... I am the Omniscient One. I am... COD ALMIGHTY!

*thunder cracks*

Ditto: Cod Almighty?

CA: Watch it, human. I don't like you using my monicker in vain.

Ditto: Sorry. Just what part of the afterlife are you from? Heaven? Heck? Purgatory?

CA: I am from... none of the above... I come from... the FOURTH part of the Afterlife, where the FINAL piece of your friend rests... however, you have more important things to worry about...!

*Cod Almighty dissappears in a flash of light, and everyone is now facing down Replaforce*

X: Heh. See? We're here to blast you, even though we weren't originally here, and it's all thanks to him! Any last words?

*everyone is silent*

Ditto: Come to think of it... yeah, since we SO outnumber you now, it ain't funny, I'd like to say "Sic 'em boys."

X: O_O

*the crowd of Party Goers, long living in fear of Replaforce, now charge forward as a mass army and cream the corn out of 'em*

PG17 Golem: ~is standing back while everyone else attacks~ What can be done to stop them?... I mean, if they have help from THAT fishy dude... How can I stop that?
Better yet, if the Replaforce is evil, wouldn't Mr. Cod know even if they put on the universe's best show? Or maybe...
I'd better slip into the TASTS while everyone else is distracted! Everything'll be fixed if I can just get Sapphire, Yoshiman, and NintF Sr. to help, so I shan't worry about leaving the rest...

Narrator: Party Goers 7 Golem, Sapphire, Yoshiman, Nintenfreak Sr. all rush into the TASTS...

PG7 Saph: *stopping suddenly* WAIT!

* PG7 Golem skids to a stop at the entrance to the TASTs, causing the others following him to crash into him and all fall over each other *

Sapphire: I don't follow with a mass group, remember?

PG7 Golem: *mumbling from underneath the pile*

Masa: *looks over from creaming replaforce* Hey! You're trying to leave without us!

PG7 Golem: *getting up off the floor sheepishly* ^^;;

Ditto: Well, now that we're finished with THEM, it seems we have more things to consider. Yet another part to this mess.

Sapphire: Surely you're not thinking it all a waste of time and energy now.

Ditto: Nope. Just another means of an adventure. I can't WAIT to see this place.

PG17 Golem: But what about the TASTs?

LOTP: First we need answers. I still wonder how we all fit in there..

Yoshiman: But what would be separate from Heaven/Heck/Purgatory? What else is there?

X: *snickers*

Sapphire: Why don't we ask Replaforce? *glares at X*

NintF Sr: Good idea!

X: Oh no you don't. We may be beaten, but we're not telling you anything!

Sapphire: Then I'm... ending the story!

All: *freeze and blink*

Replaforce: *stare in horror*

X: Give us a minute to think. (they begin whispering to one another for about a minute)

Masa: Time's up!

X: Okay, okay, we'll tell you!

Yoshiman: Well, that was easy.

PG7 Golem: *attemps to sneak off again*

Ditto: *rubs hands together* Let's begin the interrogation..

Narrator: Some trips up PG7 Golem purposely along the way, so he just sits with his back to the TASTS next to PG1 Golem and PG17 Golem.

Golems: Dang.

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