Slort: Smella bah goo zap!

Kuria: I... I really don't know what you're saying... you.. you... whatever you are...

Slort: SPAGGGAAA!!!!

Kuria: You know... you kinda look like you're from that video game, Super Mario Bros.

Caykzor: Do not think that because you are a girl that I will go easy on you!?

Kuria: Oh! Right! Cake thing...

Caykzor: I am no mere "cake thing"!!! I am the king of all cakes!!! And you shall bow before my might!!! Behold! My new form!!!

*A blinding light flashes, and a booming voice bellows out*

Caykzor: Fear me! For cheesecake is greater than flesh and blood!!!

Kuria: *trying to focus her eyes* This can't be good...

*The light begins to fade to show Caykzor's new form*

Caykzor: Bow before the mighty CAYKZOR!!!

Kuria: you're... uhm... my size now... isn't that a step down?

Caykzor: You fool! My may have shrunk, but I'm much more powerful in this form than the previous!

Kuria: Sounds like some dumb DBZ villain rip-off! *shoots another Pie Arrow*

Caykzor: *Pie Arrow deflects* HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have grown even more powerful than your pies!!! What will you do now?

Kuria: Not good...

~Inside Caykzor~

Vorpal: Does it feel more confined in here to you guys, or is it just me?

Masamune: Would whoever it is that's got their foot in my face, please move it!!!

GORE: That's your foot, Masamune!

Masamune: Oh... right...

Yami: Wait... I've seen this episode before! They just get the cheesecake to absorb too much, and the cheesecake eventually explodes!

Masa: Where's our air supply coming from, anyway...?

Golem: Anyone up for Mario Kart: Super Circuit? ~produces four GBAs~

~Back outside...~

~As Kuria readies another arrow, swiftly dodging the cheescake, she cannot aim so that it will not hurt anyone inside the cheesecake. As she ponders what to do next, the cheescake seems to start floating. Kuria looks up and sees that the cheesecake is being airlifted by the US government's flying sub. Cue tense guitar music. Kuria then aims her arrow at the chains binding the cheesecake and connecting it to the ship, but as it strikes, the arrow falls to the wayside.~

Rhyk: Follow me. I know where they're headed.

Kuria: And you would be...?

Rhyk: No time to explain, but I am in this for those above.

Mysterious (wiggle finger) Voice: Release them.

~Vorpal, Masamune, Yami, Golem, GORE, Lupus, amd Dodo are ejected from Caykzor, who is lookings sort of ill~

Masamune: o_O *puts pants back on*

Everyone: Whew.

Mysterious Voice: I bet you are wondering why you're here.

Vorpal: Not particularily.

Mysterious Voice: Well I'll tell- wait. You're not? At all?

Yami: Not really.

Golem: Yeah.

Mysterious Voice: Well uhm... I made cookies?

Everyone: Yay! *they get cookies and wait expectantly*

Mysterious Voice: Good... now it is time to reveal myself... *pulls off cloak and voice warper*

Everyone: Sapphire!?

Masamune: Wait a second. Sapphire can't be in this OG.

Sapphire: Yes I can! This is my sub!

Masamune: True. But you have to be introduced by your writer. Note: Your writer doesn't do fun stuff anymore.

Sapphire: B-but!

Vorpal: *shakes head*

Sapphire: Golem, tell them!

Golem: Sorry Saph. No can do.

Sapphire: *pouts*

Masamune: Hey. Don't cry to us. Blame your writer. In the meantime we need someone else.

~Sapphire walks away sadly and a new Mysterious Figure steps up~

Everyone: *gaspses*

*Mysterious figure is none other than. . . Yoshiman!*

Yoshiman: *Kinda whimpy voice* Fear me!

Golem: Sapphire was better.

Yoshiman: I have milk to go with the cookies!

Everybody: Yay!

*And they ate cookies*

Vorpal: So why are we here?

Yoshiman: Umm. . . I'm kinda rough on the details. Did it have something to do with DBZ?

Yami: Almost.

Yoshiman: Cheesecake?

Sapphire: Yes!

Everyone else: Go away!

*Sapphire pouts and leaves again*

Yoshiman: Cheesecake and almost DBZ, eh? I remember that. . .

Vorpal: Is this whole milk?

Yoshiman: Yeah.

Vorpal: Good, cause whole is much better than 2%. . .

Masamune: Tsk, Vorpal, he was about to tell us why we're here.

Vorpal: Right.

Yoshiman: Sorry, lost my train of thought.

GORE: So what released us...?

Vorpal: No interrupting!!

Yoshiman: Oh, right, now I remember. We're here to witness the union of this lovely gravel... oh, wait, I mean... Golem was going to use the cheesecake to power a new device!

Golem: How do you know about this?!

Yoshiman: Old Golem has made a device which would allow Golem to travel between his different selves as he pleased! That is, Lesser Golem, Greater Golem, and Cat.

Golem: Hey!! Stoppit!!
This reminds me of the time...

~flashback~

Flutter: ~hops out of chimney, bounces off o' WW~

WW: ~falls off roof~

Golem: O.o;

WW: ~falling~ Oh, cool!

Golem: ~peers off ledge~

WW: ~falls on mat~

Masa: Hey, that's my mat! I'm going to sue someone for this! ~throws nugget o' joy~ Whoever this hits will get sued by me!

Golem: ~looking at Flutter~ What were you doing in the chi--~gets hit by nugget o' joy~ OW! ~loses balance, falls off o' roof onto mat~

Masa: ~looking at Golem~ I challenge YOU to a duel!

Golem: Eh?

Masa: Not really. I'll just sue you.

Golem: Oh. Hey, wait...

Flutter: I hate nuggets of joy. ~tosses nugget of joy off of roof~

Golem: ~gets hit in the head by falling nugget of joy~

...Later...

Masa is his own lawyer and is suing Golem. The judge is Ditto. There are five members of the jury, NBA All-Star Cal Ripken, a golf ball, and three seats.

~flashforward~

Masa: What?! This is nothing like that time.

Yoshiman: That reminds me of the time...

~flashback~
Vorpal: Learn the force, you must!

Yoshiman Skywalker: Forget that, I have to save... ~looks down at script~ ...my friends!

Slort-D2: Beep beep boop.

Masa: ~randomly pops into frame~ Yoshiman, I am your editor!

~flashforward~

Vorpal: That wasn't us!! ...Was it?

Masa: Wait, what timeline i sthis anyway?

GORE: I believe we are in the Good Future, considering the appearance of Old Golem and the fact that me and YY have yet to appear in any other OG taking place in this timeline except for Party Goers IX in which Yami is drawn from VGF to what might be this land, but that can be explained if you think that the person who contacted him was actually Old Golem in disguise who sought Yami's cheesecake, or it could take place in another timeline.

Yoshiman: ...What?

GORE: Sorry, I haven't said anything in a while.

Yoshiman: Okay, Golem, remind me why we're here?

Golem?: Well I plan to force you all to post in VGF Member OG 5 at VGF. All the "veteran" VGFMOG writers with the exceptions of Golem, Lupus, Fred, and you guys who've- never posted in a VGFMOG but will when I'm done with you have posted in it!

Vorpal: GORE, stop trying to imitate Golem.

Golem?: (takes off his "costume", which is actually just a paper plate mask with a crayon drawing on it and a scarf that's not even brown) @#%$!

Golem: Okay, now can you try to foil my evil plan or something? I desire attention!

Yami Yoshi: why should we? You're a shrimpy senior citizen dressed as a someteen-year old boy? What can you do?

*Golem takes off his scarf and ties one end to the right wall of the ship and the other end to the left wall of the ship. He then leans back against the outstretched center of the scarf as if it is a slingshot.*

Golem: I'll... (leans back further) ...show... (leans back even farther) ...you all.... (lenas back as far as hecan so he touches the back of the ship) ....what an old, yet evil, man can do!! (Golem let's go and the scarf propells him forward.) GOLEM MISSILE!!!

*Golem flies across the ship, grabbing each of the OGers as he passes them until they fly into the control room and smash the control panel into pieces, causing the ship's engine explodes as it quickly falls towards the Earth.*

Golem: Urgh... (speaks into a tape recorder) Note to self: Next time, use Golem Missile from the OTHER side of the ship.

Rhyk: ~busts into the sub... through a door~ Golem, we must use plan A immediately if we hope to reach our goal! I mean plan B!

Golem: Try again!

Rhyk: Alright, plan C!

Golem: Correctamundo! Adieu, ladies and gents!

~Golem wards off everyone by swinging around his heavy backpack as Rhyk runs out of the sub. Golem chases after Rhyk, who lifts off the ground with his jet feet, grabs Golem, and then speeds off into the sky.~

Masa: Is he going for more cheesecake?

Yami: My cheesecake stash!! He's heading for my cheesecake stash!!

*Kuria watches as the sub starts to fly away but then, an explosion rocks the front of the sub, and it starts to fall toward the earth*

Kuria: What did I get myself into?

Slort: Baga bo ganna!

Kuria: Those guys may need help! Let's go!

*Kuria's bow dematerializes into her hand in a brilliant aura of purple that lingers slightly on her hand until it fades away, she then starts running toward the impending crashsite*

Slort: Tact wolly! *trying to keep up with Kuria*

Kuria: Oh! Okay, come on little guy *picks up Slort and runs off again*

~~~

Yoshiman: We'regonnadiewe'regonnadiewe'regonnaDIIIIIIEEE!!!!

Vorpal: You don't make such a great villain.

Yoshiman: shut up...

Caykzor: I may have lost my size and powers, but I will still destroy you all!

Yami: Mmm... cheesecake *grabs Caykzor*

Caykzor: You can't do this to me! I'm the great CAY- *is eaten*

Masamune: Uh... the sub's still crashing!!!

Everyone: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! *sub crashes*

~~~Later~~~

Kuria: Woah... is anyone here? Anyone hurt?

GORE: By a strange twist in fate, we're all okay, but the sub was utterly and completely destroyed.

Masamune: Who.. are you?

Kuria: My name's Kuria Eiren

Yami: Who cares!?!?! Golem's going for my cheesecake stash!!!

Kuria: What's the deal with you guys and cheeseca-

GORE: I WILL HAVE TO FORBID YOU FROM STOPPING GOLEM!!!!

Yami: What? Why?

GORE: I'm on his side remember?

Yami: I thought sides were eliminated when he *points to Yoshiman* came in as the bad guy!

Yoshiman: Oh, don't mind me! I'll let you kill each other off, and then complete my evil plans... I guess...

GORE: Excellent!

Masamune: Okay. Role call, who is on who's side?

Yami: Well. I got you and Vorpal...

Dodo: I'm on Masa's side, I guess...

Yami: .. and Dodo. >.>

GORE: I still have Slort!

Slort: Uuha ruu! *steps besides Kuria*

GORE: B-but... all of our plans... how could you?

Slort: Gruuba.

GORE: ... Fine!

Lupus: You all suck.

Vorpal: Right, Lupus is on his own side. Yoshiman too. What about you Kuria?

Kuria: Uhmm... who are the good guys? o_O

Everyone: We are/I am!

Kuria: Greeaat...

Yami: Anyways GORE, we outnumber you four to one!

GORE: ... those aren't good odds, are they?

Yami: Not at all.

GORE: ... ok LOOK. I'm getting a transmission. I have to rejoin Golem and Rhyk.... RIGHT THIS SECOND. *takes off*

Yami: *waits until he's gone* WHOA. He's gone. MAN, I thought we were TOAST.

Yoshiman: Drat, now I have to wait to invoke my evil scheme. D'argh!

Lupus: I want to steal more cheesecake.

Kuria: Uh... I guess we're teaming up then?

Yami: Yes. We shall call ourselves... The Gamehiker Members!

Masamune: What kind of wimpy name is that?

Yami: Sorry. It sounded good when I thought of it.

*suddenly a mysterious cloaked figure appears that isn't so mysterious and is attemptng to eat his cloak. His name? His name is Fred."

Fred: It is cold but I am hungry as well. I am off to destroy Hanson or somesuch, but I can't take in so much Ritz Bitz!

*Suddenly, a army of ninja attack him, except not really, I was kidding, it's boring and lonely being the asterisk guy and my phone number is-*

(stop that, you're fired. Golem runs up to Fred with Ryhk following him and notices the giant hammer he is holding)

Golem: Wait a tick. Hello sir, who you be intrested in being an evil lackey for a mastermind?

Fred: Well, It's sorta my calling. Where is said evil villain?

Golem: Bah, it's me! Don't you people bother to read everything any more?

Fred: I know the letters L, 7, and comma!

Ryhk: I am sensing incredibly low levels of intelligence and sense in this organism. I also don't sound like Spock. I really hope not.

Fred: Baaaaaaaaam!

Golem: Sure. Regardless, you must be rear guard for the attack that the one known as Yami Yoshi will inflict upon us. A good plan for you would be to hit them, as in, very hard. Do you understand?

Fred: I said, what's cooler than being cool?

Ryhk: This course of action may be fruitless.

Golem: Stop that, you are a clone of me and are like me

Fred: Who's the boss? OMG COSTELLO

Golem: First order - no talking when I'm around, this may mean your life, now hurry up, we've wasted enough time already.

Ryhk: Why am I not on meatshield duty this time?

Golem: You need to carry the cheesecake.

Fred: 40 Watts of LITRES! BE THERE!

Ryhk: also, something looked weird about GORE before we left.

Golem: Eh, it'll work out.

Ryhk: He seems to have gained a personality. His matrix doing that was basically out of the question and is highly illogical- ****, I hate this writer so much.

Golem: So much the better? Look, we're almost there, hurry up, I'm missing my soaps.

Fred: Anchovies approtcheth. Action? Y/N

Ryhk: Sir, running seems appropriate for this event.

(meanwhile, GORE runs from the gang and meets up with Fred, who promptly smashes him on the head because of a misunderstanding. Fred brandishes his hammer and clobbers Yami Yoshi in the stomach. Fred punches the suprised YY in the face and imbosses YY in the wall. Vorpal Catches up and brings out his blade while GORE tries to figure out what's going on. Vorpal ducks Fred's swing and stabs him in the arm. Fred pulls the blade out, seemingly not too badly hurt but with his mouth open, sharp teeth glistening as he smiles and laughs like a maniac, on the floor, but not dancing like he's never danced before. Fred picks Voorpal up and tosses him at Yami Yoshi (very hard, in case you needed to know) and then tosses a waffle at the ground that explodes and stops Dodo in his tracks. GORE runs to Golem at this point, figuring that's all that's important. Fred brandishes his shoe, and advances on Masamune. The stench of said shoe is potent enough to kill a zebra, and Masamune backs away because of the stench. Yami Yoshi gets up and tosses a dark egg at Fred's shoe, knocking it away. Fred quickly turns three times and lies down, asleep)

Yami Yoshi: What.

Vorpal: We should trash this guy.

(and trash they did, many beatings were given and Fred was tossed in a sewer to be proclaimed dead. Unfortunatly, nobody knew Fred was in the Canadian army, and when it followed "our" heroes, it found Fred, and he was wecked with a stick till he came to, spitting out grammy awards)

Fred: Arr, I'm Cristopher Reeves! Yar!

(Golem and Ryhk approch the final safe with GORE and prepare for it's opening. Yami and the gang make a run for the housewhile dodging traffic, and Lupus, well, who KNOWS I may or may not but you'll have to pay taxes before you get my fruit of knowledgeable fruit selling abilities.)

*Yami, Masa, Vorpal, Dodo, Kuria and Splog rush towards the cheesecake safe. They see no one outside.*

Kuria: Hey, where're the bad guys?

*The safe slowly opens and reveals GORE-ILLA, who is wearing a black cloak. He immediately tosses off the cloak and ignites a red, double-bladed lightsaber.*

Vorpal: (turns to Masa) May this be the hour we draw swords together.

Masa: Sure, why not?

*Masa and Vorp draw their legendary swords and immediatley begind dueling GORE, the fight dragging on towards a bottomless pit which is located in the middle of the giant safe for no reason.*

Yami Yoshi: Hey! (siganls to Dodo, Kuria and Splog) What about us?

Golem: Oh yeah! Rhyk, perform Manuever Alpha Beta Zeta Omega Sky Dragon Assault Barrage Phase Quatra Prime!

Rhyk: (pushes them into the safe)

Golem: (seals the safe) Haha! Now that the safe can no longer be opened from the inside, we've accomplished our goal while losing only one member who was bound to eventually convert to the heroes' side, and we get away with all the boxes of cheesecake- wit, where'd our loot go?

*Elsewhere...*

Lupus: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!...1. Now that I'm done laughing, I wonder who stole that cheecake horde and why I didn't?

*Back in the sewers*

Fred: I seem to have found a large collection of boxes labeled "Yami Yoshi's Cheesecake", eh? These boxes could fetch a hefty price on the black market, but first I think I'll empty these boxes into the sewer system without any second thought or reason.

Canadian army: ~in unison~ Fred, I don't think that would be a wise decision.

Fred: Hey, who's the ozocerite here, you guys or me?

Canadian army: Anchovies approtcheth. Action? Y/N

Fred: Fred: Anchovies approtcheth. Action? Y/N

Canadian army: N/Y ?noitcA .htehctorppa seivohcnA

Sewer: We're gonna be here for a while...

Cheesecakes: Take us somewhere special, sewer! We want to see... the world.

Sewer: Whut3v3r.

~Elsewhere...~

Yami: How do we get out of here?!

Masa: I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadie! ~in an informative tone~ I'll be a Masasicle.

Vorpal: Wait, let's think this through logically. Arab Dude will eventually find me... and he hates my guts and will inevitably...

Safe: HELP!!!

Kuria: Hello? Anybody here? I need some cheesecake...

Vorpal: Didyoumakesuretoleavethedooropendidyou!!

~CLICK~

Yami: But Kuria, you were already in here.

Kuria: Would you accept "I forgot"?

Dodo: Waitaminute, isn't Kuria immune from the story's zaniness?

Golem: Oh, karp, this is a story, isn't it? Oop, I'd better get back to that whole plot thing! ~zips out of scene into this next scene~

Rhyk: I'm sensing some cheesecake underneath us. Sewers.

Golem: Let's find a manhole, quick!

Annoying Guy: No duh, Sherlock.

~Meanwhile, Rhyk has drilled to the sewer using a giant drill that comes out of his cap.~

*Rhyk's drill drills through the earth at an incredible velocity while Golem is being dragged by his scarf, on end of which is wrapped around Rhyk's foot and the other end in Golem's hand.*Rhyk then enters the sewers, pauses in midair, and floats above the sewer water with his jet boots in a dramatic fasion. At least it would've been dramatic except that as he he floated above the water, Golem had fallen into the drink with a heavy splash.*

Rhyk: Wait, where's the cheesecake?

Fred: Aye, some military-looking guys carted it away, eh? Then they was attacked by some Irish Dude who claimed the cheesecake belonged to some "League of Stereotypical Foreign Dudes", eh? And he carried them away in his bagpipes/sleeping back/sack for holding cheesecake and was beamed up to somewhere. ...Eh?

Golem: (splashing about) I've... suddenly lost all memory of knowning how to swim! Help! (sinks until he realizes that the water is less then ankle-deep)

Rhyk: Yah, whatever. We should see what's up with those furriners who done took our cheesecake, y'hear?

Golem: Rhyk...? Why'd you suddenly adapt a Western accent?

Rhyk: Uhhh....

*Rhyk quickly activates his jet boots at full speed, rocketing through the tunnel he created, and Golem, who just realized he's still hanging onto the scarf, is yanked up with him at amazing velocity.*

*Golem held on for dear life as he and Rhyk went through a narrow tube*

Golem: You're absoloutely mad! I nearly lost my GBASP!

Rhyk: Aye, drilling a hole with ye head c'n do that to a feller. Ahoy, skipper, look for land, I see birds and that is is a sign, I promise ye!

*Golem skids down the scarf a little, and sweats madly while looking for a way off, or maybe to make Rhyk speak normally again.*

Golem: Uh, Aye cap'n. Land ho and all that sort. The point is, stop, uh, matey.

Rhyk: What'choo call my muther? I'd just as soon throw you as stop you, sucka! Maybe dere's a way to have both! But easy on the chains!

*Rhyk stops suddenly, which makes Golem continue moving until he stops rather suddenly, 3 feet within the wall of the sewer*

Rhyk: Ahhh. Now 't find me sum milk. Don't mess with me 'foo!

(Of course, as soon as he says that, the Canadian Soldiers that had taken the cheesecake all jump at him at the same time, guns ablazing. One fires rapid-bananas at Rhyk, who gets one horribly wedged in his ear, but dodges the rest as he fends off a man with a gigantic spike on the end of his rifle made of pencil shavings. Rhyk grabs his neck, knees him, and throws him at a man attempting to state the laws of physics in reverse order, killing the two of them. He then overturns a table and fires his gun, which he continuously misses with and then ends up throwing at a man trying to kill him with a rather large hat. The man's mouth lost all his teeth to his stomach. Another man whipped Rhyk from behind with a pair of lederhosen, but rhyk grabbed it and wrapped it around his hand. The rest of the soldiers all fell silent and then went back into the depths of the sewers to play strip poker.)

Golem: Urgh, I did not just see all that. Regardless, I must press on, and ow, now it's all over my, leg, whatever it is. Rhyk! Curses! Rhyk! Ryhk.

(Rhyk approches him with spinning clown shoes balanced on his head)

Rhyk: I live to serve the Death of the Zerg!

Golem: Oh no, I have no competent minions now.

(All of a sudden, a giant lobster breaks out of the wall, and snaps at Golem)

Rhyk: NOT ZERG. LIFEFORM DESERVES LIFE.

Golem: I'm most certainly done for. Oh wait, cliche entrance time!

(Fred and GORE just sort of amble in)

Golem: You didn't destroy any walls on your way in. I have a reputation to uphold.

GORE: We've been trying that, but we kept getting the wrong room. We smelt seafood, and that's the only reason we're here.

Fred: Quazi-Frodo, You get and ring 'dem cottonbells!

Golem: Okay. Look, we have a guest. Entertain him.

GORE: Gotcha.

Fred: I do tricks, sing songs, and I even wear gloves! I'll entertain YOUR kids for one MAGIC night! Inquire at neverland ranch!

Golem: Just go, I have Rhyk to worry about, who's more important than you two put together.

(Fred dodges a giant lobster claw as GORE is caught, but Fred tosses his hammer and smashes open then claw, giving GORE enough time to smash the crustatean's brains out with his BARE HANDS just like megatron)

GORE: You with the brackets! We didn't need that last quip!

(Um, sorry? What's a quip?)

GORE: Gah!

(Instantly, Yami Yoshi breaks in with his "crew". That should hold 'em.)

GORE: Why you... What do you think you're doing here?

Yami Yoshi: I could probably ask you the same thing.

Masamune: hand over the cheesecake, we don't want to beat it out of you that badly.

Vorpal: Yeah, yes I think we do.

Fred: BBC 1! BBC -325.(+34) to the power of heart! GO PLANET!

GORE: Wait a second... How did you guys get out?

YY: It's elementary, good chap. We focused all our power into one strike, and when that didn't work we called a pizza guy and he let us out.

Fred: Take it to the FRIDGE!

Kuria: I'm still not clear as to why I'm here, but I've as they say gone with the wind.

Vorpal: Okay, but we're going to be having an awesomely coordinated fight scene in here. as soon as I hit the Fred dummy's neck, blood spurts EVERYWHERE.

GORE: Yeah. About that...

GORE's Hand: ...We can't use the blood-filled Fred dummy any more.

Vorpal: Wha--?! Why not?!

Fred Dummy: Because... I'm possessed! GOOOOOOSHHHHHHH!

GORE's Index Finger: No, you're not. ~shows Fred Dummy something on the script~

Fred Dummy: Right. ~becomes lifeless again~

GORE: We can't use it because it's made of cheesecake. It's a cherry cheesecake, to be specific, thus the "blood."

Yami: But... my cheesecake never has cherry in it. Just whose cheesecake could it be, then...?!

Masa: There's only one logical conclusion:

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Golem: Wow, Masamune! That pretty much draws the story to a close, then!

THE END

Kuria: But the cheesecakes are getting away!!

Yami: Do you know where they're headed?!

Kuria: We can find that out easily... ~whips out a dirty gym sock from a pants/skirt (who knows which it is?? I certainly wouldn't dare to bother to look that up) pocket~ This is a cheesecake tracker. Just our luck, it has to be embedded in cherry cheesecake to work.

GORE: It ONLY works inside cherry cheesecake?

Kuria: Well, okay, it only works inside Fred dummies. And the sock will definetely ignore the fact that the Fred dummy is a cheesecake itself. While I install the sock, why don't you help yourself to a fighting sequence?

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