~GORE whistles and suddenly out marches three beefy men rippling with muscles and standing at a good three foot tall each. They are all dressed in green~

Fred: When did we get them?

GORE: The guy with the tildes gave them to me, unlike Mr. Brackets.

(Grrr....)

Masamune: Oh wow, I'm really scared.

Leprechaun: *grabs Masamune by his collar and brings him down to his eye level* What was that!?

Masamune: o_o I meant... WHOA! You guys look tough!

Leprechaun: That's what I thought girly. *lets go*

Masamune: *turns to Yami* Okay, thanks to the process of eliminating side characters, it's down to you, Vorpal, Kuria, Lupus, and I. The rest of our allies mysteriously fell into a plot hole.

~Meanwhile~

Dodo: Aiiiieeeee!

Slort: UGNOOOOO!!!

Dodo: You seriously can't be screaming in another language.

Slort: Ugno.

Dodo: *sigh*

~Elsewhere~

Yami: So it's five against five...

Lupus: I'm pacifict, I don't believe in fighting.

Yami: You blew up Canada three times this month alone.

Lupus: My -minions- blew up Canada. Do I look like a minion?

Yami: Fine, four on five...

Vorpal: Wait, you can split into two people, Masamune. Remember?

Masamune: No I can't.

Vorpal: Uh, yes. You can. You do it all the time.

Masamune: Eh heh... no.

Vorpal: I remember clearly in Party Goers 17-

Masamune: You're mistaken.

Vorpal: Fine! FINE! Whatever. In Two Towers they had like 100 men against 10,000 orcs, we can handle this.

Yami: There were elves too.

Vorpal: Not in the book!

Lupus: And they had a dwarf.

Vorpal: So?

Masamune: Stands to reason. We don't got a dwarf.

Vorpal: There's only five of them!

Masamune: And there's only four of us NON-DWARVES.

Vorpal: I don't believe this!

Yami: Maybe we could hire a dwarf.

Vorpal: *through teeth* We're not hiring a dwarf.

Kuria: Hey umm, the bad guys are kind of getting impatient.

Mysterious Voice: Well I'm not a side character.

Masamune: Huh, where did you come from?

MV: I have my ways.

Lupus: Interesting. I think.

Yami: Maybe it's a dwarf!

MV: No.. you're mistaken. I'm here to lend my services, if the price is right.

Kuria: Well.. we are about to enter some battle of epic porportions. We -could- use the extra help..

Vorpal: What, we aren't hiring anybody!

Masamune: I'll sign your contract if you sign mine.

MV: I'm not that stupid.

Masamune: *snaps fingers* Darn. Well then who are you and what do you want?

Yami: Yeah, before the bad guys try to hire him.

Vorpal: We aren't hiring! I can handle this! I'm... SUPERMAN!

[Nothing happens]

MV: ...

Kuria: Uh.. so as we were saying, what's the offer? ^_^

MV: First of all, I'm not a 'him'. *glares at Yami, then looks back to Masamune* Now before I lend my services, you my friend owe me an apology.

Masamune: What?

*flashback*

Mysterious Voice: Good... now it is time to reveal myself... *pulls off cloak and voice warper*

Everyone: Sapphire!?

Masamune: Wait a second. Sapphire can't be in this OG.

Sapphire: Yes I can! This is my sub!

Masamune: True. But you have to be introduced by your writer. Note: Your writer doesn't do fun stuff anymore.

Sapphire: B-but!

Vorpal: *shakes head*


Masamune: ..Wait. You're...

MV: *takes off disguise to reveal..*

All: The Lady in Red?

Masamune: Still not Sapph, so it doesn't count.

Lady in Red: Do you want my help or not? *dons a dramatic pose* The enemy approaches!

Lupus: I'll just sit back here and watch as you all get killed.

Kuria: ...

Vorpal: ....Errrr....

Yami: What were we about to do again?

Narrator: Looks like I came back from vacation just in time to announce the matchups! We have...

Yami Yoshi Vs. Leprechaun 1!
Vorpal Vs. Leprechaun 2!
Masamune Vs. Leprechaun 3!
Kuria Vs. GORE-ILLA!
Lady In Red Vs. Fred!

Narrator: (ctd) With that out of the way, I ring a gong behind me and annouce, "Let's get reasy to rumble!" All the fights then begin- whit, what's up with GORE and Fred? They're just standing around.

Kuria: Hello?

Fred: I can't hit girls, I forgot how to.

GORE: I'm not allowed to, and besides, Vorpal would kill me.

Lady In Red: Then let's wrap this up quickly!

Narrator: So-

Censor Man: -Lady In Red and Kuria take advantage of the guys' weaknesses and pummel them before stuffing them into a mailbox! That's two battles down off the bat!

Narrator: You again? I thought you died!

Censor man: Yeah, well I didn't! Thanks for getting rid of my car brakes anyway!

Narrator: That's it, add one more fight to the match-ups!

~Yami narrowed his eyes at L1~

Yami: You got a name, punk?

L1: That I do, lad. They call me Misfortune.

Yami: I though leprechauns are lucky.

Misfortune: And I thoughts yoshis only said 'yoshi'.

Yami: That's a lie! Okay, Missy! It's on, I'm taking you d-

Misfortune: *socks him in the nose*

Yami: Ooooow!!! What was that for!?

Misfortune: Calling me missy.

Yami: >_< Man, you bad guys always take everything too far... I think my nose is bleeding!

Misfortune: I didn't hit it that hard.

Yami: *tries to breathe through nostrils* I canftt breaff!

Misfortune: ...

Yami: I needf a medicff!

Misfortune: Jeez, I barely flicked it!

Yami: I fink it'ff brokenff!

Misfortune: I'm sorry, jeez!

Yami: *sniffs in agony* Owwwfff....

Narrator: Matchup numero dos! It's Vorpal Vs...

(Vorpal quickly cuts the leprecaun in half)

Narrator: Fine, match number three and a bit, Masamune Vs THELEPRECAUN - ok, there, you can kill him.

Leprecaun: Aye, they all be after me -

(Masamune bashes him in the face and throws his sword into the air, spinning. the air lands blade down on the man's heart)

Narrator: Next up is... What the heck. Nobody is left. Oh wait, Yami Yoshi.

Misfortune: I'ma cut you up so bad, ye wish I 'ad'unt cut you up so bad.

Yami: Um, aye lass?

Misfortune: YE CANNAE CALL ME LASS SIRE

Yami: No, wait, we've certainly done this joke before.

Misfortune: Aye, 'tis too bad. Now, ye gotta get crushed.

Yami: Yeah. About that -

(Before Yami can reply, the Leprechaun picks him up by the legs and punches him, as in, really, REALLY hard. YY spins vertically for about five seconds, and then is slammed into the ground. He looks up, hazy, and spots the man's bottom. YY rolls left and through the blur equal to that of a Rosie O'donnell show, YY manages to kick the man in the stomach and stumble backwards, quickly. The man leaps, but Yami rolls right, and the man flies into a pipe, which he is stuck in. Yami Yoshi throws his trademark "Dark egg", which vaporizes the man in a terrible, painful manner)

Lady In Red: Okay, if you're done.

(While she speaks, a mail box tries to jump away slowly)

LIR: No. No you don't. You're the hostages, you tell us things.

GORE: Okay, but my liver is sort of stuck in my kidney and er... aren't I a robot?

Fred: Oxygen tastes like everything EXCEPT Cd key generation!

Narrator: Oh, yeah. I should probably beat up that censor guy. What a FOOL wait, what did I?

Censor man: You cannot beat me. BLEEP OUT!

Narrator: Bleep! BLEEP! (Censored)eep!

Censor Man: Now I RULE!

Kuria: Should we um, uh,

Yami: Question them?

Vorpal: Cut them?

Masamune: Strip search? What?

LIR: Regardless of what we end up doing, we might as well agree to dispose of them.

Fred: HA! YOU FOOLS! I CALL THE ENTIRE LAKERS TEAM SO THAT WE MAY ESCAPE!

Vorpal: Cut them?

Narrator: BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Censor Man" Augh! What're you doing? Let go!

Director: I sigh and hand the script to the Narrator Newbie woith instructions to continue the story.

Narrator Newbie: W-who, me? Alright... so Censor Man has just been chokeslammed on the ground by Narrator, but Censor Man fights back by whacking him in the face with a folded chair-

Director: "NOT THAT PART, YOU IDIOT!" I shout in anger from my director's chair as I wave a mug of coffee bearing the Gamehiker Member OG logo about. "You need to progress the story!"

Narrator Newbie: Alright, so Yoshiman faces off with Lucky...

Correct-o: DING Incorrect. You must be a total idioty to confuse Yami Yoshi with YoshiMan, considering the fact that they have completely differant skin colors. Also note the lack of Yoshiman's trademark red shorts and perhaps you will be thinking on a pre-kindergarten level. Need I get started on "Misfortune" being referred to as "Lucky"?

Narrator Newbie: Whatever. So then Yami Yoshi and the leprechaun start fighting or something, but according to this, in the story's ending-

Director: "DA**IT!" I shout aloud before turning to Censor Man as he was trapped in a headlock and shouting, "Hey, you're only supposed to censor onstage!" Then, returning my attention to Narrator Newbie, I continued, "You can't flip to the end of the script or reveal SPOILERS!" Narrator Newbie then ran off crying while I snatched the script back and annouced, "Can't ANYONE read this script?"

Seto Kaiba: I can read an Egyptian God Card!

*Seto is sucked down a hole, thus allowing me the job.*

(That's it **, I've had enough of your meddling!)

*BRING IT ON!*

<As the two battle, I recall my hatred for both of them and jump in too!>

[I also jump in and start beating them all. Who's only good for BBCode tags now, ma?]

Director: "...Alright, will someone just take the script?" I ordered and not a second later (it was 8799) a bulky, green-clothed man swiped it out of my hands. "And just who are you?"

Irish Dude: Why I be your new Narrator! But first I just need to edit a few little things with permanent marker... Heh heh heh...

Masamune: *without emotion* Oh no. I think we have been defeated. I surrender.

Yami: *emotionless* Me too.

Misfortune: Aye, we are the victors!

Gore: We..... won?

Lupus: Hey! Mune, Vorp, Yami! Whaddya doing!?

Yami: There is no point, we will be defeated.

Fred: Booya!

Lady in Red: *emotionless* I surrender too.

Lupus: Someone has messed with the plot. Which can only mean... *rubs an eraser against the wall* A plot hole! *grabs his zombie-like companions and drags them through.

~~~Meanwhile~~~

Irish Dude: Curse that Lupus! I forgot to rewrite him. Oh well, no matter. *rips off mask*

Golem: I'll have my revenge, soon enough! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Golem: But first, I shall see how long it takes for a golden nugget to melt in the microwave.

~Golem produces golden nugget from a huge Yoda Pez dispenser nearby and sets off for Yami's sewerly cheesecake.

Meanwhile, in Trippy Plot Hole Zone v3.0, Lupus and company float amidst Kool-Aid flavored stripes...~

Masamune: ~nagging tone~ Where are we?

Lupus: I've brought you to the place.

Waiter 1: Would you like some wine with that, sir? We have--

Waiter 2: ~shoves Waiter 1~ I'm better than him! Don't listen to him! He spouts lies and pink bunnies!!!

Waiter 1: Do NOT! ~coughs, a purple bunny comes out of mouth~ I was here first, so go away!!

Lupus: Quick, to the Random Goodyear Blimp of Solitude!

~Everyone, save the waiters, gleefully hops inside a passing Goodyear Blimp~

Lupus: Now, I can ask... what have they done to you?!

Lady in Red: It's these new-fangled Tomagotchis!!

Yami Yoshi: ~looking at Tomagotchi~ AAAHHHH!!!!

~Yami Yoshi jams his thumb down on "feed" button in rapid succession. Everyone gets behind Yami Yoshi and watches, mouths gaping open.~

Vorpal: You can do it!

~Kuria stands at the front of the sub, guiding it through invisible highways using a steering wheel.~

Lupus: Gasp! You remain untouched by the Tomagotchi spell?

Kuria: If we take this next exit, we can arrive at the runaway cheesecake stash AND meet Golem before he manages to stick a golden nugget in the microwave!

~Suddenly, honking is heard from behind. It's Waiter 1, and he's in a hummer--!~

Waiter 1: GWAR HAR HAR!! ~pulls hummer up next to Goodyear blimp, knocks it off the invisible road and drives into the exit~

Kuria: ...

Lupus: This is the part where I--

~Just then, Waiter 2 pulls up beside the blimp in a bicycle.~

Waiter 2: No peoples at the size of Fred. Peoples of this size will cause tunnel collapse for no reason.
If you can beat ME in a race, I'll let you exit the Trippy Plot Hole Zone v3.0!

Lupus: But, good sir, I plot hole'D us into this place, I can very well manage to plot hole us out!

Kuria: Shut up! You're on, Waiter 2!!

Fred: Oh, dear I happen'd to step in the tunnel!

Speilburg: No, I need something with more, motivation!

Fred: LAND LOCK TRIP LIPSTICK TRICK WICK BURNT ON

Speilburg: You're Fired.

Waiter (-7): There's no time to waste! We must wait 5 years, quickly, before we run out of time!

Lupus: I use Rasp!

Waiter (-7): No you don't. You activate my CURRY DISH retaliation aphod impersonator!

Golem: Oh, yes, this golden nugget will - Dang, out of MP. KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE

Over There: Terribly sorry sah.

Golem: No, you're not. And another thing-

(suddenly the christmas ham appears)

Christmas Ham: Attack, my grammerless frisbees!

Frisbees: YES WE WILL AND JUST DI D LOOK I DID IT MA

Golem: This really, really needs to stop.

Gigantic ghost clam: Are you sure? It could all be yours! For the low low-

John Cleese: You there! Stop it, Stop it I say! This is getting awfully silly and-ahhhhhgh (JCleese spontaneously combusts)

Paper cup: Avast at ye, Rocket Robin hood! Your futuristic toothpicks have defeated my Jehovah's witness pamphlet distributors once again! Dang you I say!

Waiter 2: Sure. READY SET GO THEN COLLECT 200$

Kuria: Okay. Fine.

Lupus: I say he cheated and REFUND'D ME TAXES

Yami Yoshi: Um, what's going on. Are there any windows in this thing?

Lupus: That's the beauty of it. You can't see out from in but you can see in from out.

Masamune: Well, I'm afraid there's only one way to win this then, right Vorpal?

Vorpal: Um, I can't possibly be thinking what you are thinking. That's not even slightly in question.

Masamune: we're going to kill Waiters 1 and 2 and 17 and blue version.

Vorpal: Ah. Actually, now that you say it, that's what I had thought of.

(The two swordsmen slice open the one way door and quickly lock up the spokes on their opponent's bike. It gives out but turns into a washing machine and fires gravy at Masamune, knocking him back into the blimp. Vorpal slices the machine in half and it transforms into a camel spinning on it's head, which is much faster.)

Masamune: This does reek.

Vorpal: There's only one way to win this.

(Lupus instantly erects a wall made of Smores behind the blimp, trapping the waiters, as Yami Yoshi Calls Fred's beeper. (the number was on his shoe) and quickly Fred steps into the tunnel which gives out and crushes the two waiters, who were going to destroy the wall with housecoat in a can)

Kuria: We did it!

Waiter (-7): arr, that ye did. But you'll never escape alive!

Waiter (blue version): they did. look there.

(a note was left on a chair in a pear tree saying they had escaped.)

Waiter (-7): Arr, that they did. nobody listens to me, not even to me songs of the sea.

Golem: What? Where, where am I? Where are they? All I know is that, I had the cheesecake! Muahahahahahha! cough, gack, urk. That's really hard on the tonsils.

Narrator: BLEEP BLEEP BLE-upid Censor Man... wait.. I'm back? *cough* Anyway, after an exciting race between the Random Goodyear Blimp of Solitude and Waiter 2 on a bicycle, the Gamehiker Members' Blimp was sucked through a rift in the Trippy Plot Hole Zone v3.0 landing back in the sewer, still littered with Canadian troops.

(The Gamehiker Members fall through the rift without the blimp, into the sewer water)

Kuria: Ewww...

Vorpal: I miss that Tamogatchi

Masamune: *sniff* yeah....

Kuria: What was with you guys and that Tamogatchi?

Everyone: *shrugs*

Yami Yoshi: How come you didn't?

Kuria: That's what I'd like to know...

*dramatic music*

Vorpal: Sooooo.... cheesecake?

Canadian soldier: Now wait right there, eh? *pointing gun at group* I'm under strict orders to guard these here sewers with my life, eh? Can't let none of you have the cheesecake, eh?

Masamune: What's one little Canadian soldier gonna do against us?

*Canadian soldier shoots Lupus in the leg*

Lupus: AAAAUGH! Ow ow ow ow! Hey... you shot me! YOU SHOT ME! ... I can't believe you just did that you SHOT ME!!! *gets shot in other leg* AAAACK!!! STOP DOING THAT!

CS: You're all coming with me, eh? Now put your hands in the air where I can see 'em, eh?

~Golem, Rhyk, and GORE walk up from behind the Canadian soldier.~

Golem: Where's your cheesecake NOW, Yami?! It's in my secret hideout below the Microwave Plant!! (Take the first door to your left, go all the way down the stairs, then jump on the second tile from the left and second tile from the top!) Now you're DEFENSELESS!

Yami: NOOO! Without my cheesecake, I am powerless!

Kuria: No you aren't!

CS: I _SAID_, all hands AND feet AND torsos in the air! Wait, what did I say?

Masa: So, Golem... what do you plan to do to us?!

Golem: Well, I... uhh... I hadn't really got this far in planning. ...Rhyk?

Rhyk: Well, we could go over our pig calls.

GORE: All right!! Count me in!!

Golem: Suuuuu-EE!

Rhyk: No, no, more like this: Bee, Eye, En Jee Oh!

Yami Yoshi: NOOO! I can feel my power being drained!

~Next time on The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto...~

Knuckles: Sonic! Maybe you can use your Light Speed Dash on the line of rings to cross the chasm!

Sonic: Okay! ~grabs one ring, falls to death~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*The Gamehiker OGers cover their ears and make a mad dash for the microwave plant. However, their path is blocked by GORE-ILLA.*

GORE-ILLA: Stop right- oof!

*The OGers all punch GORE at the same time, knocking him out.*

Golem: Rhyk! Do something!

Rhyk: Well, we could go over our pig calls.

GORE: All right!! Count me in!!

Golem: Suuuuu-EE!

Rhyk: No, no, more like this: Bee, Eye, En Jee O-

Golem: Wait, we almost got stuck in a loop there! Now go and get those OGers!

Rhyk: Well, we could go over our pig calls.

GORE: All right!! Count me in!!

Golem: Okay, stop! Just... attack them!

Rhyk: Right.

*Rhyk jets off after the OGers.*

Golem: You too, GORE!

GORE: All right!! Count me in!!

Golem: Stop that.

*GORE jets after the otehr OGers.*

Lady in Red: I can talk, _remember_?

Yami: Ah, shatmuck, Rhyk is gaining on us! What do we do?

Rhyk: You were able to knock out GORE when you all punched him at once. Tra la la~!

Yami: Hmm, I'm going to try something... this just might work!

~Yami then proceeds to jump forward as fast as he can on one foot, then placing his other foot forward, and as it hits the ground, jumps with that foot, then placing the first foot forward.~

Yami: YES! It WORKED!

Vorpal: What did you do?

Yami: I invented running! Walking with ATTITUDE!

~A few seconds later, Rhyk and GORE catch up with the Gamehikers--that's what I'm calling them now--and tackle them in the air. However, their jets do not quit until they bust through a styrofoam wall into a bustling lobby, where they all land comfortably on couches.~

Masa: So THIS is what a microwave plant looks like. I thought it was going to be like Donald Trump's hair.

Styrofoam: Remember kids: I may not be biodegradable, but I sure as heck ruin the environment.

*Yami Yoshi, Masamune, Vorpal, Lady in Red, Lupus and Kuria all run from the sofa room as GORE and Rhyk awaken. The Gamehikers wind up in a huge factory filled with converyor belts and furnaces. Vorpal follows a conveyor belt carrying dead bodies. The dead bodies disappear into a machine, and microwaves come out the other side. Vorpal lifts the microwave and screams.*

Vorpal: IT'S PEOPLE! MICROWAVES ARE MADE OUT OF PEOPLE! THEY'RE MAKING OUR MICROWAVES OUT OF PEOPLE! NEXT THING THEY'LL BE BREEDING US LIKE CATTLE FOR MICROWAVES! YOU'VE GOTTA TELL THEM. YOU'VE GOTTA TELL THEM!

*Before Vorpal can continue ranting, Rhyk and GORE bust into the room. Yami Yoshi holds up a finished mocrowave which he has plugged into the wall.*

Yami Yoshi: Ha! Microwaves kill robots!

*Yami smashes the microwave door and turns it on. It emits glowing microwaves, but GORE and Rhyk put on shades. For some reason the microwaves bounces off the shades and hits Yami's eyes.*

Yami: AHHH I'M BLIND!!

*Yami stumbles around blindly until he falls onto the conveyor belt of dead people. Then he feels comfortable and falls asleep. Rhyk and GORE then fly towards Vorpal and Masamune. Lady in Red runs to Yami's aid, but her path is blocked by Golem.*

Golem: Long time no see, Saph.

*Lupus sees everyone distracted and slips away in search of the cheesecake horde. But Kuria spots and follows him.*

Golem: ~spots Kuria and Lupus~ Hey, Rhyk, a little help!

~Before Lady in Red can react, Vorpal is swung back-first into Lady in Red's torso, and they both slam up against the wall. Golem chases Kuria, but notices Yami Yoshi on the belt and stops, stuffs a golden nugget in his (Yami Yoshi's) mouth, and then continues the chase. Lupus looks behind him and sees Kuria and Golem, and stops and turns around, menacingly holding up a Febreeze spray bottle, his index finger on the hair trigger.~

Lupus: Now... nobody wants to get hurt... just let me get the cheesecake and leave.

Golem: No way!

~Golem reaches into his backpack and pulls out a Swiffer mop the size of a Buster Sword. Seconds later, Fred drops in from the ceiling.~

Fred: Corndog... uh, uh, BEE!

~A corndog with a bee on the end of it drops down from the ceiling and lands in Kuria's hand.~

Kuria: What?!

Bee: ~shrugs~

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