*The S.S. Swordefeller crashes into the side of Canadian Dude' store.*

Masamune: Store ashore!

*Masamune, Vorpal, and Yami Yoshi flip over the rail of the boat and kick down the door.*

Yami Yoshi: Golem has stolen my cheesecake! He must die!

Golem: Aha! But you forget my secret weapon!!!

Canadian Dude: I thooght the monkey was yer secret weapon, eh?

Golem: Well, he wasn't very secret, considering how he walked up to Yami Yoshi and tried to beat him up and everything.

Yami Yoshi: Golem! Prepare to die!

*Vorpal and Masamune pose.*

Vorpal: I suddenly realized how irrelevant we are.

Masamune: Pah! They only want us to THINK we're irrelevant, so that we walk away and get distracted by... Ooh! Scones!

Golem: Now for the secret weapon!!! *pulls out Slort*

Slort: Yo.

Yami Yoshi: Uh, hi.

Slort: Epik ma toogle nah.

Yami Yoshi: Uh...

Slort: Koopick noopick choopick!

Yami Yoshi: Well, you see...

Slort: KABBSA NO KURIBAN!

Yami Yoshi: Okay, you're not even saying anything! You're just...

*Slort headbutts Yami Yoshi, sending him flying back to the river. He crashes into GORE's egg, breaking it open.*

GORE: Hello.

Yami Yoshi: D'oh!

Lupus: It is a strange world where the word @#%$ is censored! I am offended by this nonsense! It is my language and biggotry against it is plainly racism!

Koopa: I have a new car. With a CD player.

Lupus: And what's more I have never in my life witnessed such a blatant disregard for someone's post! Except in VGF Members OG number 1! And several other places

Koopa: But really you don't care that much do you.

Lupus: Not at all! This way I get to extend my intro to encompass...

MORE RANDOM EVENTS!!!!!!!1111I MEAEN EXCLAMATION MAREK NOET TEH ONES

Lupus: Of course I could also just find GORE and tell him to stop pretending he's a bad guy.

Bad Idea Guy: That's a bad idea! A very bad idea!

Lupus: You're right. This calls for DVD marathons.

*now for something completely different, in a castle on a dark hill... well, maybe a toolshed in a slighty dampened bump out in the backyard of some middleton house BORINGVILLE*

Dark Figure: Mwahaha. Now finally my plan that is undecided as just yet but is undoubtedly very evil will unhatch itself! I am unbeatable! But now I must get some sidekicks and some super powers!

???: Not so fast! I am here to stop your evil plan before it begins! By use of tongs coated with strawberry jam and jetpack ignition fluid!

Dark Figure: No! Who are you?

???: Hello, my name is Inigo Montaya... You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Dark Figure: You'll never kill me alive!

Inigo: Mwahaha. *does so* Now I have all I need to take over the world myself! Mwahaha! Did anyone realize this scene was pointless as the Dark Figure could have been me anyway? It doesn't really matter who the evil guy is! *is squashed by a elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Even Eviler Guy: Mwahaha! Now no one can stop me taking over the world with the evilest mwahaha in the world! And this dimension! And any other unforseen dimensions! *is squashed by a elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Evilest Guy: Bwahaha! Wait, I mean Mwahaha! Time to put my DESTROY EVERYTHING FOR NO APPARENT REASON PLAN INTO ACTION! But first I need the most evil soul on Earth for my machine... Yes, that's right! It's NOT LUPUS!

Lupus: Wha...? When the heck do I get a proper place in this OG?

Evilest Guy: NEVER! MWAHAHAHAHA! *is squashed by an elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Lupus: Mwahaha. Now my evil plan will really begin. After I come up with an evil plan, of course!

Canadian Dude: Shut up aboot it!!

Lupus: Eh, wot?

~pan out to reveal that Lupus was standing in front of Canadian Dude's Party Store~

Slort: What was up with that, anyway?

Everyone: ~stares at Slort~

Slort: I mean, slingy sha pawihaw!

GORE: Time to meet your maker, Yami!!

~GORE stomps forth towards Yami, who is inching away. Vorpal and Masa take notice and start throwing scones at GORE, which does nothing, so they give up. Slort starts talking, but seriously, without a translator, he might as well try to shrug.
Canadian Dude and Golem sit on top of the store in director's chairs, waiting for the scene to end. They fight over who gets to put on the mustache. It's this thing that looks like a real mustache, and when you take off this strip of paper on the back, it reveals tape, which you can apply to just above your lip and below your nose. If you didn't know what I meant by "the mustache" up there.~

Yami: Well, I hope I don't screw it up this time... NUCLEAR EGG!!

Canadian Dude: I bet you two pet rocks that the Nuclear Egg is going to be as devalued as the peso in ten minutes.

Golem: You're on!!

~Yami Yoshi throws the Nuclear Egg at GORE, and just as it is about to reach him, Lupus throws a cheesecake with "Yami Yoshi" written on it at the Nuclear Egg. The cake takes the brunt of the hit, and grows to the size of a hammerhead shark.~

Cake: Gwar har har!! Hey, what are all those fireworks?

Slort: :trolS

Vorpal: Great. Now we've got to settle our differences to defeat the mutant cheesecake!!

Cheesecake: No, I'm taking Lupus' side.

Lupus: I don't have a side. At least, I don't think I have one.

Cheesecake: I'll take Yami's side, then.

Masa: Awww, geez!!

GORE: Don't worry, cheesecake is nothing!! I can take care of that thing and still have time for scones. ~rolls up sleeves that aren't there~

Vorpal, Masa: ~shifty eyes~

~GORE charges at the cake, which sits there. Passing this off as the cake's inability to move because of its lack of muscles, GORE jumps and punches with all his might. Unfortunately, his fist goes right into it without damaging it, and he drops to the ground. GORE then tries to get up and run away, but the cake slowly pulls him in.~

Yami: Hah! Where's your secret weapon NOW?!

Slort: ~jumps up and down~

Meanwhile at the White House...

*President George W. Bush sits at his desk in the Oval Office in front of several TV cameras*

Camera Guy: Mr. President...we're on the air in 5...4...3...2...1...

President Bush: Good afternoon America. I have recently received some shocking reports of the use of NU-CU-LER weapons in Canada. The Prime Minister of Canada has 48 hours to flee, before he faces military retaliation...

Meanwhile at the Prime Minister's shack in Canada...

*The Prime Minister of Canada lies on red silk sofa sipping on a glass of Chateau de Chucklehuck watching the news broadcast on TV*

TV: ...NU-CU-LER weapons in Canada. The Prime Minister of Canada has 48 hours to flee, before he faces military retaliation...

Prime Minister: Vhat?! Vhat?! Zee presi-dent of Amereeca eez an eediout! Vee do not 'ave such wea-pohnz! Eet eez time to prepare zee Canadian ar-may! Vee shall vin this vor! VAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Narrator: Has Yami Yoshi started a war between the U.S. and Canada with his Nuclear Egg? Will President Bush eat his brocolli? And French Fries...ARE THEY REALLY FRENCH? All of this...next time...only in...GAMEHIKER MEMBER OG!

*cue accordian French music*

Vorpal: mmm... I like scones....

Masamune: You know... we seem to be at the brink of nuclear annihilation...

Vorpal: Wait? When did George W. Bush become President? I thought he was President of Mexico, and locked up in North Korea!!!

Masamune: Wrong OG...

Vorpal: Oh...... right...

*silence*

Vorpal: I miss being President...

Masamune: Don't you get it?!? In this OG you never were!

Vorpal: Oh........ right...

*silence*

Vorpal: I wish I was President...

Masamune: RRG!

Vorpal: What's that stand for?

Masa: No, it was a grunt. "Urg," not "ar-ar-jee."

~Soon, propellers from government-owned flying subs are heard overhead. One stops directly over top of the group.~

Megaphone: PAUSE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!

Yami: What is it?

Canadian Dude: Wot the... an OG having a consequence on the society outside of the immediate vicinity of the OGers?!

Golem: I doubt anyone even noticed that Team Rocket had an island. Or is it Team Rocket Omega?

~Meanwhile, on said island~

Intern: Tag! You're it!

Meowth: This is Scrabble, idiot.

~Back to our normally scheduled programming~

Everyone but Golem: No inside jokes.

Guy who came down from flying sub while Golem was segueing to TR's island (AKA That Guy): Explain it to me! I mean, we're here to confiscate the nuclear bomb you have. And since this is a perfect world where nukes have absolutely no blast radius or radiation hazard, I'll be airlifting it to... somewhere better via the flying sub. ~latches various stuff onto the cheesecake in preparing to lift it with the sub~

Golem: But GORE's still--~mouth is covered by Canadian Dude's hand~

*GORE continues to get sucked into the moster cheese cake, he's now only has one arm and his head still out in the open*

GORE: Uh... some help here? Anybody?

~meanwhile, on the Canadian flying sub~

That Guy: We can inform the President that there is no longer a nuclear threat.

Radio Operator: Wow... that killed that part of the plot really fast...

That Guy: Yeah... almost too fast...

~back to Canadian Dude's storefront~

Yami: So... are any of you guys going to help GORE?

Golem & Canadian Dude: *shrug*

Vorpal: Wait a second... that cheesecake with Yami's name on it came from Lupus... that means that it wasn't Golem who stole the cheesecakes...

Lupus: ¬_¬ *starts to slowly edge away*

Vorpal: *dons Sherlock Holmes hat* But why, Golem? Why didn't you say you didn't take it?

Golem: Well... I did... Lupus stole them from me...

GORE: Guys!!?! *head gets sucked it*

Masamune: So....

Lupus: *runs*

*GORE's hand gets sucked in the entire way. A few second later, the Cheesecake starts to rumble. Eyes and mouth pop out of it's side*

Caykzor: I am Caykzor!! I must devour you all so that I may obtain my ultimate form and take over the known universe!

Golem: Wait? What happened to GORE?

Caykzor: HE IS NO MORE!!!!

Vorpal: You're lying, aren't you?

Caykzor: -_-;

Yami Yoshi: Dark Egg Barrage!!!

*All the eggs bounce off Caykzor's skin and shatter uselessly as they hit the floor. A French-Canadian Chef and his Apprentice, who were passing by, run over and beat Yami with egg rollers.*

French-Canadian Chef: VAT?? VAT ARE YOU DOING??? YOU IDIOT!!!

French-Canadian Apprentice: HOW DARE YOU HURT AN INNOCANT CAKE!!!

Yami Yoshi: CAN YOU STOP PUMMELLING ME??? IT HURTS ALOT!!

*French-Canadian Apprentice turns around and sees Caykzor twitch. He taps the Chef's shoulder.*

French-Canadian Chef: VAT??? VAT DO YOU VANT???

French-Canadian Apprentice: ZE CAKE!! SHE IS MOVIN!!!

*French-Canadian Chef looks at Caykzor, who is now still and silent. Chef slaps Apprentice on the cheek.*

French-Canadian Chef: CAKES DO NOT MOVE, IDIOT!

Vorpal: *Draws Vorpal Sword* Alright Frenchies, it's bout time I attempted to do something.

*Vorp swings his sword at French-Canadian Apprentice, who jumps to the side and bowls over Chef in the process. In the process, F-CA sees Caykzor yawning and taps F-CC's shoulder.*

F-CC: VAT??? VAT IS IT NOW??

F-CA: ZE CAKE, IT IS MOVING AGAIN!!!

F-CC: I TELL YOU, CAKES DO NOT MOVE!!!

F-CA: PLEASE!!! LOOK FOR YOURZELF!!

F-CC: VINE, ZEN!!

*F-CC turns around and sees the cake leaning forward towards him. Caykzor licks his lips.*

F-CC: AHHH!!!!! ZE CAKE, IT IS MOVING (is pulled into Caykzor's mouth with his tongue and swallowed alive.

F-CA: ZEE?? ZEE?? I TOLD YOU IT MOVES!!! *while he's yelling, is swallowed alive as well.*

Caykzor: Now can someone fight me?

Masa: Yeah, do your thing, Splog! Splog?

*Elsewhere, in an American interrogation room...*

*Splog is tied to a chair in a dark room, urrounded by American soldiers.*

News Reporter: American forces have captured this man, who is believed to be one of the Candian Prime Minister's top terrorists! This is live from the interrogation of this murderer!

American Soldier: So where's the Canadian Prime Minister hiding? !4002 ni hsuB etoV

Splog: *Confused grunts*

~Back at the ranch...~

~Vorpal slashes his sword at the cheesecake, but all it does is get stuck. Vorpal tries to get it out, but the sword gets pulled in farther and farther. Vorpal tries harder and harder, because this is his good sword. However, in the process of pulling back, his foot gets stuck in the cheesecake...! At this moment, he realizes the trouble he's in, and turns around, trying to pull one foot out and go forward with the other. Yami Yoshi runs to Vorpal's assistance while Masa clears the S.S. Swordfeller from the wreckage and starts it up. As Vorpal's torso starts to go in, Yami realizes the danger he's in... his feet are almost in the cheesecake, too!! Then the Swordfeller comes by from nowhere, with Masa in it. As it slows down, facing away from the cake, Masa yells to Yami and Yami takes a hold of it. Masa then turns the fan on to max. Both Yami and Vorpal shed tears from the power, but Vorpal is still getting sucked in. It's up to his neck when Yami lets go of Vorpal and the Swordfeller is off. Within seconds, Masa stops it and reverses. At this point, the cheesecake finally gives way from all the weakening the Swordfeller did to it. Vorpal falls on his chest and rolls face-upward, and then lays there, looking at his body covered in cheesecake.~

NTCooN (good ol' Narrator That Came out of Nowhere): This is the Cheesecake Armor! It, uh... does special stuff!

Masa: ~hops out of the S.S. Swordfeller with Yami~ It's time to fight food... with food!

Vorpal: Exactly! ~produces a traditional white with red stripes lollipop from pocket, holds it in sword stance, and the edible part lengthens to the length of a real sword~

Vorpal: It's sharp, and it's sweet, too! *licks lollipop sword, but accidently slices tongue* O_O ACK!!! *quickly ties up tounge with a cloth*

Caykzor: With the power of the Vorpal Sword, I can now transform into my next form!

*Masamune, Vorpal and Yami stand in awe as Caykzor grows legs and arms, and demon-like horns*

Caykzor: Cower before the ultimate might of CAYKZOR!!!! *Starts running toward the three*

Yami: Well, guys... this is it...

Masamune: Yeah... make sure you don't get stuck in him, got it?

Yami: Got it!

Masamune: Vorpal? ..... Vorpal? *turns to find Vorpal not there*

Vorpal: *running away* I value /my/ life!

*Masamune and Yami turn around*

Masamune: You skunk! *Caykzor stomps on Masamune, absorbing him*

Yami: Ack!!! *tries to run away, but is also stomped, being absorbed*

Vorpal: *runs into a corner* O_o No way out!!! *turns around to the advancing Caykzor* What am I gonna do?

Dodo: I would suggest cowering in fear.

Vorpal: o_O Where'd you come from!?

Dodo: The stork presumably.

Vorpal: ... whatever. There's no way I can defeat this thing.

~~~~~~Inside Caykzor~~~~~~~

Masamune: This sucks.

Yami: Being absorbed tends to be that way...

Masamune: No. "Gamehiker Member OG"? What's up with that? I mean, the story is nice and incoherent. But the name isn't catchy. We should be like... The Ocassion Arrivers or something.

Yami: Nah. Too cliched.

~~~~~~Outside~~~~~~~

Dodo: You could try eating it.

Vorpal: ... what!?

Snifit 1: Go for it!

Snifit 2: Yeah! Eat!

Snifit 3: CAMEO!

Vorpal: The heck!? Why does this all seem familiar....

Dodo: Just do it. You have to.

Vorpal: HELLO. Did you happen to forget MY FRIENDS ARE IN THERE? And my sword is too. I can't just EAT IT.

Dodo: *offers a carton of milk* You can wash it down with this.

Vorpal: Perfect. Fine. *grabs fork* I'll eat the darn thing... >_<

*Vorpal dashes towards Caykzor wielding his fork. Caykzor swings at Vorp, but he leaps over him and in the process plucks off Caykzor's right pinky finger, which he then quicky eats as Caykzor bashes his head forward in an attempt to absorb Vorpal through his forehead while he's airborne. Luckiley, Vorpal plants the fork in Caykzor's forehead and sinks his legs into it for support. He then yanks hard on the fork, pulling a giant chunk of Cyakzor's forehead free, including the part which imprisioned Vorpal's legs. He then dropped to the floor and ate through the giant chunk to free himself while Caykzor licked his wounds.*

Vorpal: That's a good appetizer, but I think it's time to finish my meal!

Caykzor: Then you should stop playing with your food before it plays with you!

*Cayzkzor forms a spear-like piece of absorbant cheesecake from seemingly nowhere and charges towards Vorpal.*

*Vorpal jumps over Caykzor's spear and sticks the fork in Caykzor's back, the same way he did his forehead, with his feet, driving the fork further into Caykzor's cakey flesh*

Caykzor: Not this time, FOOL!

*The fork start to rumble, and Vorpal is thrown off onto Caykzor's back, with his feet slowly being absorbed*

Vorpal: Ack! my feet are stuck *tries to pull them out, but is absorbed faster* Ah! Ah! Okay... okay... I'll just pull out my feet with my hands *sticks arms into Caykzor* Okay... not panicking... just going to pull my arms out with my face! *throws head into Caykzor, and is fully absorbed*

*fork is also absorbed*

~In Caykzor~

Masamune: *smacks Vorpal* "Pull my arms out with my face!"

Vorpal: Hey- HEY!!! I seemed like a good idea at the time!

*Dodo appears*

Masamune: Nice of you to join us...

~Outside~

Caykzor: Now for the SCRAWNY ONE!!!!

Golem: *sunning himself* Wha- ... oh! OH! I'm back in the story...

Caykzor: Bow before the great CAYKZOR!!! *with Vorpal and Dodo absorbed Caykzor's eye and forehead reform, and a tail sprouts out*

Golem: freaky...

Caykzor: *roars*

Golem: How ironic... that the cheesecake that I stole is now my greatest enemy.

Lupus: I don't get it...

Golem: I thought you ran away!

Lupus: Well... this is becoming a more and more pathetic story... I think we're the only ones left to save the day...

Golem: Do we want to save the day, though? I mean... Yami was trying to kill me... and you stole the his cheesecake from me!

Lupus: I've got a weakness for Cheesecake.

Slort: Umpi mugi ladidoo!

*Golem, Lupus, and Slort jump toward a rampaging Caykzor, and the screen flashes into a pencil sketch of them and Japanese pop music starts playing*

Anime Narrator: Will Golem, Lupus and Slort save their friends? Join us next time for another exciting episode of Gamehikers Members OG!

*Golem, Lupus, and Slort are jumping at the charging Caykzor. At the same time a strange girl approaches Canadian Dude’s store, she sees Canadian Dude inside and goes to find out what’s going on as the trio makes their first attack.*

~Inside the store~

Girl: What’s going on out there?!

Canadian Dude: Oooh, just an average fight between guys and a mutant cheesecake.

Girl: Oh.

Girl: Wait…that thing used to be food?!

Canadian Dude: Yeah that’s basically it.

Canadian Dude: I don’t think I’ve seen you before…who are you?

Girl: I am Kuria, and I am going to help.

*With that she runs out to join the trio already fighting Caykzor.*

~Outside~

*Golem and Lupus start to attack Caykzor, Golem taking to punching him repeatedly in the face and Lupus taking to kicking him in the legs. Slort resorts to biting Caykzor’s tale and holding on for his life. With all of this going on no one notices Kuria coming towards them and Caykzor, simultaneously drawing her bow magically in her left hand and pulling an arrow from her quiver with her right.*

Kuria: From the heart of Pie, I striketh thee! *fires arrow*

Caykzor: Nooo... not pie...! *the arrow burns a hole through him, but he isn't quite defeated*

Golem: *snaps finger* Of course. Pie is his weakeness... oh. Wow, a new girl.

Lupus: Pie? Mmm...

Kuria: Yes. That was my Pie Arrow. It only seemed right.

Caykzor: Uhmm... guys. I ain't dead.

Golem: Oh! Right! *they all go back to trying to kill him*

Kuria: Wait. I just told you his weakspot... pie... and you're gonna do the same thing over?

Golem: Of... *gets sucked in*

Lupus: Course... *gets sucked in*

Slort: Uhna Gamam uuga! *scampers besides Kuria*

Kuria: *sigh* This is going to be a loooong day...

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