Flutter: *comes through the door* Get in line!

Vorpal: I'm not here to get a job!

Flutter: Job? That's what we're here for?

Yoshiman: ~sigh~ For the fourty-seventh time.

Ditto: Weren't you two last in line?

Flutter: Everybody else fell asleep.

Vorpal: Hey you look pretty smart...

Flutter: Me? Smart? Hahahahaha...

Vorpal: The person behind you.

Flutter: ~sniff~ That was the first time in my life I almost got a compliment.

Yoshiman: Why yes I am pretty smart.

Vorpal: No, no. The person behind you.

Lupus: Zzzzz...

Ditto: Him?

Vorpal: NO. Behind him.

*everyone looks behind Lupus to see...*

Ditto: Gasp.

Flutter: It can't be.

Elzie: Can't we finish this interview?

Lupus: Zzzzz...

Yoshiman: A couch?

Vorpal: Yes a couch.

Flutter: It does look pretty smart.

Vorpal: How about working for me couch?

Couch: Okay. *the couch gets up Techno falls off*

Techno: Zzzzz...

Masa: Well look at that, a talking and walking couch.

Mune: Wish I had one of those.

Vorpal: Let's go.

Couch: Okay. *steps on Luigi* Whoops.

Luigi: Zzzzz...

*Vorpal and the couch walk out*

NintF Jr.: *comes out of the bathroom* Did I miss anything?

Saph: Oh nothing much.

NintF Jr.: Hey the line move... in a different direction.

Ditto: ~sniff~ I'm going to miss that couch.

Techno:ZZZzzzz he then stands up and sleepwalks into a wall and contimues walking into wall. He then truns andround and hits the vending machean cuasing it to fall down and spill all it's contes cont the floor. Techno trips over a bag of gummy bears and slids along the floor into the mens room a loud bong is heard when his head hits a tolet. ZZZZZZzzzzz

Yoshiman: Hey, look at that.

Flutter: You mean Tecchy sleepwalking?

Yoshiman: No, the contents of the snack machine spilled over the floor.

*They dive for it*

NintF Jr.: Well, Mom allways said not to pass up free food!

Lupus: Not good, not good! This is taking too long! I think I'll die of hunger before I get anywhere.

Yoshiman: Try a Super-Deca-Fortunus Ditto Cookie. They heal 15HP.

Lupus: But I'm on 1/1,000,000HP!! I need to be in good shape before I take on the boss of this dungeon... *dun dun dun* DITTO!!

Yoshiman: Well... just eat a lot of them! You'll cure that missing HP in no time.

Lupus: Are you sure eating that many Super-Deca-Fortunus Ditto Cookies can be good for you? Anything with the name Ditto in it makes me feel sick.

Yoshiman: I'm afraid every single snack-like item from this once working snack machine has the word "Ditto" in the title. ...All except one, that is.

Lupus: ...

Yoshiman: The magical one million HP curing JollyJelly. There is one remaining in the world. And NFJ is about to eat it.

Lupus: ...NO! STOP!

*Jumps for NFJ, tackling him to the ground.*

Lupus: Give me that JollyJelly, or I'll kill you!

NFJ: What are you talking about?

Lupus: The one that you're hiding... somewhere! Hand it over!

Yoshiman: Whoops, my mistake. Looks like I had it all along.

Lupus: Grr... meddling JollyJelly stealing humanoid Nintendo characters! I'll get you for this.

Yoshiman: Wait wait wait wait wait wait! I'm willing to give this to you.

Lupus: But at what price?

Yoshiman: You must bring me the legendary sword of Gybaarl, guarded by Bob the Amazing Beast of Many Colours, to prove your courage and strength.

Lupus: ...Can you just give me it? Maybe?

Yoshiman: Uh, sounds easier.

Lupus: Thanks.

*Ditto suddenly barges in wearing a huge hulking suit of iron armor, swinging a whirlping spiked mace in the air*

Ditto: BWAAARGH! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!

Flutter: *screams and falls over*

Yoshiman: FLUTTER WAS RIGHT!

Reno: HE IS THE BOSS! AND HE'S HERE! FORGET THE JOLLY JELLY! *gets down on knees* PLEASE don't kill me!

Ditto: o_O *takes of helmet* ~ahem~ As I was saying, "I'm going to kill you all" unless you knock off this ruckus back here. I'm TRYING to tell our first applicant... *turns to Elzie* that of COURSE you're hired. If you still WANT the job, that is... *eyes the crowd of people in a pile all over the floor, and the two lying on top of each other near the spilled-over snack machine*

Elzie: o_O Um... I'll... get back with you.

Ditto: *glares at everyone* You do that. Have a nice day, Miss Ann! And now... *turns to Vorpal*

Ditto: SO... you plan to horn in on our business, eh?

Vorpal: YES! I have MUCHY MUCHY MONEY! You will be UNABLE TO COMPETE WITH US! AH HA HA HA!

Ditto: Our parent company, Nichibutsu of Japan currently has a net worth of over 800 billion yen.

Vorpal: *eyes get all small and a huge sweatdrop forms on his forehead in mid gloat* D-did you say... 800 billion yen?

Ditto: Yup. And ninjas.

Vorpal: Ninjas? *a shuriken thwacks into the wall by his head* I see. Well... ya wanna buy us out?

Ditto: No. Nichibutsu no afraid.

Vorpal: Darn. Well then... I CONDEMN YOUR ARROGANCE! IF I cannot be equal with you here, then it shall be my mission to RUIN ALL OF YOUR CREATION!

*flames rise up around him*

Vorpal: Better to RULE IN VORPALSOFT... than SERVE IN NICHIBUTSU. *disappears in huge ball of flame*

Masamune: Has anyone seen my Pair o' Dice? I think they're Lost.

Ditto: In any case, NEXT. *looks at Reno and Flutter*

Reno and Flutter: YOU'RE next. No, YOU.

Ditto: BOTH of you.

Reno and Flutter: *meep*

~Meanwhile, back at Vorpalsoft~

Vorpal: Curse those Nichibutsus! How DARE they think they can compete with me? Ah well... I shall defeat them... but first, I must summon my crew... SIN AND DEATH!

*two pairs of glowing eyes peek out of the darkness*

Goom: You mean us, boss?

Ba: We're Goom and Ba, remember?

Vorpal: Yes, of course. Goom and Ba. Come. We have much work to do!

Goom: But how will we defeat them, sir? *looking out the window* Even their building looks all neat and clean and shiny, whereas ours is dark and purplish.

Vorpal: Those are our company colors.

Ba: But we're in the middle of downtown Seattle. Sir, it clashes with every other building on this street.

Goom: People are complaining.

Vorpal: SILENCE! Be not intimidated by their sterling reputation or... ugh... shiny building.

Goom: *continuing, while being talked over and ignored* ...property values...

Vorpal: *continuing on, talking over him* We have all we need to carve a small FORTUNE from the video gaming industry!

Ba: What's that?

Vorpal: A LARGE fortune.

*indicates large pile of gold with jewels, crowns, and swords sticking out of it, sitting in a corner*

----

Ditto: Now, before we begin, I'd like to run you through a little set of terms I've rather hurredly come up with this morning.

Flutter: I'm already about to go to sleep. Please don't.

Ditto: I find your lack of faith... disturbing.

Lupus: Do you mind getting on with it?

Flutter: And why are you interviewing us both at the same time?

Ditto: Well, it is a matter I don't want to go into at this stage, but I'm afraid I might have to. You see, when I was born, I was very young. So young, in fact, that some would say that I had just been born. And that being a fact would've caused me to say "Hey, you're right! I was just born!" That is, of course, if I could've spoken at such a young newborn age. Well, this problem grew and grew, with many people saying "He looks like a newborn!" and this went on and on. Even when I reached 18, I was still getting these comments. Strangely enough, I was getting them more when I was 18 than when I was just born! So, I finally thought "Enough already! I'll join a boyband!" So I ran away and met up with a few other people, where together we decided to form the Berry Boyz R Bak. We raked in the cash! In fact, we raked in so much cash that one of the members of the band suffocated in his livingroom. This, causing us to break up, made me VERY angry. So I started taking my anger out on people less powerful than I. I became bloodthirsty. I bought a huge suit of armor, and a huge mace to match. I roamed the streets at night, scaring and brutally murdering people. But this didn't satisfy my thirsts! I WANTED MORE! PAIN, SUFFERING, CRYING, PEOPLE LAUGHING IN THE BWAHAHA MANNER! I WANTED IT ALL! I WOULDN'T STOP UNTIL I MET MY DEMANDS! And so I took on the job as CEO for Nichibutsu of America so I could torture and underpay my workers. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Lupus and Flutter: o_O

Ditto: Now, where were we?

Lupus: Uh, you were about to say "Here's you're contract. You're in"?

Ditto: You underestimate me, Reno my friend. I know exactly where we were.

Lupus: Uh, the name is Lupus.

Ditto: OK. I got it. Reno.

Lupus: LUPUS.

Ditto: RENO. Yep, gottit.

Lupus: L-U-P-U-S...

Ditto: R-E-N-uh... O! Now that that's settled, lets move on to the bit where I interrogate you.

Lupus: *sigh*

Flutter: I knew this was a bad idea.

Ditto: A bad idea...? A BAD IDEA???? Are you saying that Nichibutsu of America is A BAD IDEA???

Flutter: No, I'm saying that me coming here was a bad idea.

Ditto: Calling me a liar now, huh? I've got a very handy Bahamut summon up my sleeve, and I ain't afraid t'use it.

Flutter: Bahamut... BAHAMUT! ARGHH!! *jumps out window*

Ditto: *eyes turn red* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhem. *eyes turn back* Now, what can I do to get you to jump out the window too?

Lupus: I have very strong willpower, Ditto-san.

Ditto: You do, do you? Well, let's see if you can stand my entire 50-hour Barney DVD collection.

Lupus: ARGH!! *jumps out window*

Ditto: Excellent.

Lupus's Voice: Hey! There's a conveniently placed high-jump mat down here.

Ditto: Wha... what?

Lupus's Voice: Hey, I'm alright! And so is Flutter. Aren't you?

Flutter's Voice: I've been better.

Ditto: That conveniently placed high-jump mat is for my personal gym! Who moved it out there?

Flutter's Voice: Uh, I did sir. I had an inkling that something like this would happen.

Ditto: But my gym... how did you get in there?

Flutter's Voice: There was a conveniently placed key in my pocket!

Ditto: How did that get there?

Lupus's Voice: It put it there, sir. I put the gym key in Flutter's pocket.

Ditto: HOW YOU STEAL WALLET???

Lupus's Voice: I didn't! It was conveniently placed on the front step of this building!

Ditto: ...

Flutter's Voice: If I may ask sir, can we come back up?

Ditto: ...I still have my Bahamut summon and collection of Barney DVDs. Come back up here and I'll show you.

Lupus: EEP.

~down on the high-jump mat~

Lupus: This isn't working.

Flutter: Wait maybe if we found a common interest we could start building up a way to get a job.

Lupus: Hmmm... but what.

~in Ditto's office~

Flutter's Voice: You said you constantly kill people at night.

Ditto: Yes.

Flutter's Voice: Well I constantly assault the elderly and indignant.

Ditto: Only the elderly and indignant?

~on the high-jump mat~

Flutter: This isn't working.

Lupus: I know! We can use my time machine.

Flutter: You have a time machine.

~in Ditto's office~

*Flutter and Lupus appear*

Flutter: We are the president's of the future!

Ditto: No, you are those guys I just tossed out the window.

~later on the high-jump mat~

Lupus: This isn't working.

Flutter: You can say that again.

Lupus 2: This isn't working.

Flutter: I was talking to Lupus 1.

Lupus 1: I'm not Lupus 1, I'm Lupus 15.

Flutter 12: Hey me and the other Flutters invented a Nice Machine. It can turn Ditto into a nice person.

Lupus 4: I doubt it. You don't have the brain capacity to build a nice machine.

Flutter 7: It's not so much as a nice machine as it is a Dodge Ball cannon.

*the Flutters start to shoot the Lupus'*

Lupus: Flutter, Flutter! FLUTTER!

*Flutter wakes up to find himself in Ditto's office*

Flutter: What happened?

Lupus: You fell asleep.

Flutter: I had the most horrible dream. And you were there. And you were there. And I was there.

*Flutter 12 walks by*

Flutter: An he was there... Hey a Dodge Ball cannon!

*Flutter starts shooting Lupus*

Ditto: Lupus, Lupus! LUPUS!

Lupus: *wakes up* Huh, what happened?

Ditto: You fell asleep.

Lupus: Oh...

Ditto: As I was saying...

Flutter: Look out!

Ditto: *turns around to see a giant insect* Ahhhh!

Flutter: Ditto, Ditto! DITTO!

Ditto: *wakes up* What happened?

Lupus: You were asleep.

Ditto: Oh.

Lupus: It's okay.

Flutter: It's long boring situations like this I keep a snack handy. *wakes up* I must have fell asleep.

Ditto: Must have.

~EVENTUALLY...~

Ditto: Well, it seems you have all passed as my staff. Tomorrow we will start placing you in the positions most suited for your skills.


Masa: Ha ha! Luigi's gonna be the janitor!

Luigi: *glares*

Ditto: .... I will now take you on the tour, now be very careful to listen to all the rules... *starts walking with the others*

Flutter: *loosk to his right and sees a bunch of short green-haired clownish people at computers* Hey, aren't those-

DItto: Shh.... listen

"Ooompa... Loompa....
Loompa Di Doo!
We are the debugging facul.....ty!"

Oompa 1: What do you get when you have a syntax error?

Oompa 2: A mispelling programmer!

"And you know exactly where to put the blame...
The executive CE.....O...."

Ditto: *chuckle* Riiight... *cough*You'll be seeing them more later... carry on.

Masa: Ooh... who are these guys...?

Ditto: The game testers.

Elzie: Really...? They look more like they should be in a mental home.

Ditto: They were.

Everyone: o_o;;

*inside*

Tester 1: LET ME OUT! YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO!!!! I'M GOING TO FALL IN THE LAVA TRAP! HEEEEELPPP!!!!

*outside*

Ditto: Be very sure never to listen to any of them.

Everyone: *everyone nods* >_<

Techno: Those guy remind me of the side effects of my prototype cure for aids.

Every one o.0()

Luigi: Techno I think you should be sept away by the men in white coats!

Techno: I SAID I WOULD NEVER GO BACK THERE AND I NEVER WILL!!

Lupis: You're freaking me out. Hey Ditto do you have any mace?! I don't trust this guy!

Yoshiman: I always carry some with me. . . *hands Luigi a battlemace*

Lupus: Oo That's not what I had in mind. . .

Ditto: Quiet everyone, quiet! We are now going to take the Dittovator to the place I call "Game Land". When we get there, I want you all to touch EVERYTHING! That way, I can avoid the Failure-Tax.

*They walk forward a bit, to see a weird elevator*

Luigi: It's an elevator!

Ditto: It's a Dittovator. The latest in the range of supreme... vators. Everyone, get in.

*They all squeeze in, and the Dittovator takes off. It finally stops with a door right infront of them*

Ditto: And in we go.

*They walk into the room, and everyone immediately rushes around, looking at stuff*

Ditto: And a oney and a twoey and a three four

Come with me
And you'll be
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look
And you'll see
Into your imagination
Make a game
That is lame
And you'll see your crappy creation
What you'll get
Fôrtétame
No explanation

If you want to view paradise
Make a game such as Mario Sunshine
You'll know what's yours and mine
Want to change video gaming? That's fine

There is no
Game I know
To compare with The Legend of Zelda
Buying it
Won't be free
Unless you truly wish it to be

If you want to view paradise
Make a game such as Mario Sunshine
You'll know what's yours and mine
Want to change video gaming? That's fine

There is no
Game I know
To compare with The Legend of Zelda
Buying it
Won't be free
Unless you truly wish it to be

Luigi: I feel sick.

Ditto: No need to fear. We are moving on.

*The group get onto a boat that is floating in the Internet Superhighway*

Ditto: Hold onto your hats, people! Next stop: Game Ideas Room!

*The boat stops at another door. The group enter to see a big room with many experiments. Again, the group split to look around*

Lupus: Ditto! What is this? *points at some green slime floating in a bucket of hot water*

Ditto: My new ReallycoolModem. It hooks on to random things and connects them to the interent! Try it.

Lupus: So you're saying I could connect Flutter to the internet and sell him over Ebay?

Ditto: Sure. Takes only two AA batteries.

*Meanwhile, at the other side of the room*

Elzie: Games! GAMES! I WANT IT ALL!

I want a Gameboy
I want a console!
Segas, Nintendos, Ataris and Leslos!
Just so I could show-

I want a man
I want a plumber
Who dodges the lava, kills bugs and piranhas
He and his brother...
GIVE IT TO ME!
NOW!

I want this place
I want this whole place
The games and the hardware, I want it, it's not fair
And I don't want to share
Give it to me now
DON'T CARE HOW
I WANT IT NOW

Ditto: O....K....

Elzie: Well, where's the trapdoor I fall down now?

Ditto: Take two steps back and one to the right.

Elzie: K. *does so, and falls down a trapdoor* AHHHHHH!!

Ditto: The Game Testers should be showing up just about now. OOMPAS!!!

*Oompa Loompas march out*

Oompa Loompa 1: What now?

Ditto: Time for your verse.

Oompa Loompa 2: Oh yeah.

Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa Doompadah Dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
Who do you thank when your kid is obsessed?
Who do you thank when your kid ain't a mess?
Vid-eo games and a can of Pepsi
Will help your children grow up, you see
NINTENDO ROCKS THIS STUPOR WORLD
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
If you are spoiled, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompadee Don't

Ditto: Hey! That last line didn't rhyme!

Oompa Loompa 3: Get over it, idiot. *Oompa Loompas march off*

Ditto: So, now we have lost Elzie, I-

Elzie: Not. That was my stunt double. You think I would really fall down a trapdoor like that?

Ditto: I guess not.

Elzie: Let's move on, then, shall we?

Ditto: Hey! I'm the Wonka here! I give the orders!

Yoshiman: Change the "o" to and "a" and you'd be just about right.

Ditto: I don't get it.

Masa: Ooh! This looks cool!

Ditto: Hm.... ah yes, this is the storyboard.

Elzie: Why are you hiring us if you have all these employees?

Ditto: Look at them, they're freakin' looneys.

Oompas:
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo
I've got a enigma ready for you!
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dee!
If you've got smarts you'll just ignore me!
Education and Reading is fine once and a while
It stops you from exercise and running a mile!
But it's repulsive, revolting and WRONG!
Reading and Learning all day long!
The way that a nerd does!
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
Work for Ditto and you will go far!
You will live in Ignorance too!
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompadee Do!

Masa: Very insulting aren't they?

Ditto: That's not the writers, they just like to taunt them... THOSE are the writers *motions to the left*

~Over in the corner is gathered a bunch of scruffy hunchbacks all leaning over a single peice of paper fervently debating over the starting line~

Flutter: And I'm guessing for this that you want US to fix this uhh.... team?

Ditto: Well now, it's time to explore THE CAVE OF MAGIC! Come along, come along.

*everyone follows Ditto into a huge cave where several characters with exaggerated features are running around*

Luigi: ARGH! THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME!

Ditto: Fear not, for thy shalt be saved by thee... or whatever. The Cave of Magic is the place where I can turn many handdrawn characters into real life, to ask them their opinions and stuff... sort of like getting A+ class AI in my creations.

Masa: How does it work?

Ditto: Follow me.

*they walk through the cave past hundreds of creations to a door, which Ditto opens*

Ditto: Which Ditto opens SLOWLY. We need to add drama.

*oh, right. A door which Ditto opens SLOWLY*

Ditto: Huzzah! Here we are. *grabs a peice of paper, draws a squiggle on it and feeds it into a huge machine. The paper goes through many unnessecary special effect tubes and pressers, until a huge 3D squiggle falls out the other end, void of its paper backing*

Luigi: WOW! Does it go backwards?

Ditto: I've never tried it... but sure, I guess!

*Luigi runs to the "OUT" end of the machine and jumps in. Again, the machine splutters and splurts, until a peice of paper with Luigi drawn on it falls out the other end*

Luigi: Wow! I'm a peice of paper!

Ditto: Congrats.

Lupus: While thats all very well and all, I fear but one thing.

Ditto: What?

Lupus: The-

Oompa Loompas:
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo
We've got no lives but hey, what's new?
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dee
We get no fun living in slavery
Game testing's not all its cracked up to... be
Try it yourself and then you'll... see
One meal a year and 5c a... week
24/7 with a stupid... geek
SOMEONE GET US OUTTA HERE
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
Resign from this job and you will go far!
Money and happiness will all be yours
Ditto is working us against the law!

Ditto: Don't mind them... I... uh *sweatdrop* gotta go. *jumps out window which isn't there*

Masa: Great. Now we're stuck in a huge anthill-type cave with a bunch of Mario wannabes that can <probably> throw some kind of magic spell or dangerous object.

Lupus: Well, we're gonna get nowhere just standing here. Let's try to make our own way.

*Group leaves*

Elzie: I can't help but feel we're forgetting something...

*meanwhile*

Luigi: D*** you! Get me out of this paper! *suddenly theres a rocking motion and a groan* Wha.... whats that? *paper starts to move backwards, towards the SHREDDER! DUN DUN DUN!!*

*they all walk into a long, dark watery tunnel, and climb into a weird boat with two Oompa Loompas in the back*

Elzie: THis isn't gonna be creepy is it?

Ditto: No, of course not. Start 'er up, boys.

*instead of rowing a giant paddle wheel, they crank up an outboard motor*

Ditto: What were you expecting? They unionized.

*they roar through the tunnel*

Lupus: *looking at the creepy images on the walls* Whoa! Hey! That guy there! That looked just like Mr. Vorpal!

Ditto: *singing in a foreboding tone*

There's no earthly way of knowing... which direction we are going... no way of knowing where we're rowi-

*the boat jerks to an abrupt stop. Ditto pitches into the water in mid song. The Oompa Loompahs exchange high fives*

Elzie: *looking at them* Aren't you going to do something? Don't just stand there! DO SOMETHING!

Oompa Loompah: Help. Police. Murder. *they both snicker and climb out of the boat*

Ditto: *head pops up from river and spits out water* Well, we're here. Uh, there. Just step down off the boat gently... that's it. Just give me a hand up and- HEY! Come back here! Someone help me up! D'oh.

*he climbs out of the water minutes later, and soon they're all standing at an iron door with a combination lock*

Ditto: Let's see here... Megaman 7... Castlevania 2... Super Mario Bros. 3! *the door swings open* And, this, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call, 'Der Inwentink Room."

Yoshiman: What's that?

Ditto: It's 'The Inventing Room' in a Germanic accent.

Yoshiman: Ah.

Ditto: Now, over here is one of my finest ideas... actually, it's anyone's ideas. I call it 'Inspiration Gum.'

Sapphire: Oooh. What flavor?

Ditto: Creative Juice! You chew it, and you get tons of ideas! But... it's still untested.

Sapphire: *sigh* I wish I had something to get my muses started...

Ditto: Yes, well, as I've said... it's untested. *coughs*

Sapphire: Yeah.

Ditto: *coughs and waits*

Sapphire: *hums and looks around*

Ditto: *sidles over and accidentally knocks over the pedastal on which it's on* Ooopsie. Could you pick that up for me? But don't eat it...!

Sapphire: Okay. *does so*

Ditto: -_-0 Don't you have any evil, selfish impulses in you at ALL?!

~Wrange Tirk bounds up~

Wrange Tirk: Ooh! Gum! *grabs it and chews it up*

Ditto: Wha-?! That was for her-

Sapphire: You think I haven't noticed how just about everything in this place is some kind of deathtrap?

Ditto: *sigh* Oh well.

Tirk: @_@ Hey, let's make a shooting game where you go around shooting stuff! You get points for hitting enemies! Oh, and they can shoot back! Ah, and let's make a game where you drive aruond a lot but there are no real goals and the track is an afterthought! Let's make a game where you combine shooting and driving, with lots of car theft and violence! And a game that combines RPG elements with Edutainment, and-

*he begins to turn red and swell up*

Ditto: Well, what do you know. It works. Unfortunately, all his ideas are also crap. Well, Oompahs, better get him to the transcribing room.

Yoshiman: Why's that?

Ditto: Why, to get all those ideas on paper before he annoys the heck out of us, and tell him we'll 'think about it.' Then put those ideas in the incinerator. Let's move on, people! So much time and so little to see! Wait... stop that. Reverse it! Haha!

*everyone groans and heads to next room*

Ditto: Hey! Come back here! I still have many more pithy statements! "Wherein lies the fancy bread, in the heart or in the head?" "We are the something something, and we are the dreamers of the dreams!" Hey, wait!

*in the next room*

And this... this is my latest and GREATEST creation EVER. This is the one that's going to really sizzle Vorpalworth. Do you wanna see it?

*everyone shrugs*

Ditto: I thought so. Now then... *rips off white cloth to reveal a game cartridge* This... is an Ever-Lasting Gamestopper. You can play it on and on for as long as you like, and it never ends! One game cartridge of this is all you'll ever need, for the rest of your life! I bet old Vorpal would give his eye teeth to get ahold of this baby.
Now then, here's one for you... and one for you... and one for you... There now. And thus concludes our little tour.

*at that moment, all the Oompah Loompahs march up in a line and lay their resignations on one big pile*

Oompah Loompah: And this concludes our employment. This place sucks, and so do you, you freakish old wonk. We're walkin' out.

Ditto: Well, I'm very sorry to see you all go, but if that's how you want it... *pushes a button and a door opens* The exit is that way gentlemen. Have a nice day.

*The Oompa Loompahs march out laughing and making obscene gestures. The door closes behind them automatically*

Masamune: Hey, I couldn't help but notice, from what I remember of the outside, that door couldn't lead out... Hey, Ditto, what's behind that door?

Ditto: *under his breath, with an evil smirk* A Vermicious Knid... *raises head* In any case, folks, you're all hired! Welcome to Nichibutsu of America Corp. Ltd.! This concludes your orientation meeting. Report to work first thing Monday morning! And don't forget what happened to the man who got every game he ever wanted!

Techno: What's that?

Ditto: He dropped out of school, lost his girlfriend, blew any hopes of ever having a good job, sat around eating junk food, and still lives with his parents at 40!

Techno is pressing in a small butten on his whaht a tiny microphone comes out.

Techno: (mentil note. Always keep a weopon handy. also never tr the gum. Next move in on the stoop of office building i'm sick of that old b**** of a landy lady. besides I always have my stuff with me. I love my compresion cubes.) hey Ditto where's the exit/ Also do you mind if I just slep on the stoop to the building? i'm sick of my landlady?

----

Vorpal: *pacing room* I haven't done anything dispicably rotten in a while, well, not since yesterday.

Goom: Boss, you really should stop pacing, you're wearing down the floor.

*Camera zooms out showing Vorpal pacing in a foot-deep circle*

Vorpal: Bah, I'm trying to think of some nasty plan to take out that upstart Nichibutsu.

Goom: No, I'm Goom. He's Ba.

Vorpal: *stops* -.- ..... >.< I know that! I said "Bah" as an interjection, not a proper noun!

Goom: Sorry, English was never my best subject.

Vorpal: Yeah, well, don't you forget it!

Goom: Forget what?

Vorpal: *sigh* Forget it.

Goom: How can I forget something that I don't know that you told me not to forget?

Vorpal: ARGH!

Goom: You know, boss, you should check out a doctor about that bulging vein on your forehead.

----

Vorpal: Okay, here's the plan: We'll sneak into Ditto's compound. Borrow one of his prototypes. Copy it here. Slightly alter it. And mass market it at a cheaper price than he can afford.

Ba: Isn't that evil?

Vorpal: Um .... yes.

Ba: Oh, okay, just making sure.

Goom: Don'tcha think that's a little unethical, boss.

Vorpal: Of course it's unethical, but it's how video game companies make money, so I don't see any problem with it. Yes, it's been a set standard since the beginning of the industry. Why, Nolan Bushnell, who has been referred to as the "Father of the Industry," called the copy-cat products "the jackals." All we are going to do is just continue in the tradition of "the jackals."

----

Vorpal, Goom and Ba are all dressed in complete black (ninja-like) and are outside the Nichibutsu building.

Vorpal: Okay, the plan is, we use these grappling hooks to climb to the roof. From there, you two will disengage the alarm, and I will take whatever I can get my hand on.

Goom: Uh, boss...

Vorpal: What is it!?

Goom: Do you think we should've waited until dark to wear these silly-looking ninja outfits?

Camera zooms out to show a bunch of people standing around staring at Vorpal and company.

Vorpal: I KNEW there was something I was forgetting!

Elzie: I still feel as though there's something we've forgotten. . .

*Back in the room with the shredder*

Luigi: AAAAAAUGH! HELPHELPHELPHELPHELP! AAAAAAAUGH!

*Shredder is still two hunderd yards away. . . and slowly getting closer.*

Luigi: AAAAAAAUGH!

*199 yards and two and a half feet. . . and getting closer. . .*

Luigi: AAAAAAAAUGH!

*199 yards and two feet. . . and getting closer. . . *

Luigi: AAAAAAAAAUGH!

*Six hours later*

*113 yards and half a foot. . . and getting closer. . .*

Luigi: *hoarse voice* aaagh. . .

Ditto: *SLOWLY opens the door* Oh yeah, I knew I forgot something! *turns off shredder and leaves*

Luigi: Do'h. . . .

"I'm going to bed!" Techno said to himself.

"But it's only 3 pm!" Luipis commented

"True but I haven't slept in six mothes! I'm going to bed!" Techno retorted he then used his whaht to teliport to the stoop of the building. He then set up a hamik and layed down. Then he notced vrpel and the two goombas in ninja get ups talk.

"You do know that the aduditions for Amricen Ninja Three are just down the street don't you?"Techno said sleeply.

"Hey thanks kid!" Vorpel said absent mindedly.

*the group...well, most of the group.. is gathered in the lobby on Monday morning*

Flutter: [walking in] Hey, there are some weird guys dressed in ninja outfits holding a bunch of grappeling hooks outside. Should we be worried?

Lupus: Well, we're all here... but where's the boss?

Sapphire: Wait. [counts] Someone is still missing...

*screen pans to Luigi, still transcribed onto paper*

Luigi: .....

*screen goes back to lobby*

Yoshiman: *shrugs* What are we doing here again?

Sapphire: We're supposed to be discussing our prospective positions in the company.

Masa: Well, YOU do at least. Being the grandkids and all, we get to try out your pathetic results and tell you exactly what's wrong with it.

Sapphire: -.-() Apparently, his office has moved.

*points to sign on wall*

OFFICE HAS MOVED. AWAIT YOUR INSTRUCTIONS.

Flutter: O_o;

Yoshiman: Hm. Well, that sign over THERE *all look* says, 'THIS way', and the other sign says, 'THAT way'.

All: O_o;;

Elzie: Oh. REALLY clever.

Lupus: I don't get it. Wasn't his office over there? *looks over, but the clipboard, and the door that used to lead to the office are missing* Huh?

Elzie: We've been here for a while, but 'the boss' hasn't shown up at all.

Ditto: [voice over] Well, that's because I was waiting for you all to show up.

All: [look around room]

Lupus: How did he do that?

Ditto: [voice over] Don't worry about that. You will find the instructions to my office, along with some helpful items.

Sapphire: You mean THAT stuff? *points to pile of papers, tools, and etc sitting on a desk*

Nintenfreak: O_o

Yoshiman: Is this some kind of test?

*scene fades to Ditto, sitting behind his desk, fingers steepled, watching them on the video cameras*

Ditto: Well, we are going to be discussing your *coughs* qualifications. I just want to see how well you work together. If you all are *really* up to stuff, if ya know what I mean.

*fade back to lobby*

Elzie: O-kay...

Lupus: Er.. we'd still be hired, right?

Ditto: Of course. It's rather simple. Besides, we want to get right to work. So whatever ideas you develop during this small and meaningless--i mean, very important mission--

Sapphire: Finding your office?

Ditto: Er.. Yeah.

Masa: Hey, wait. I don't have to do anything.

Ditto: YES, you do. You brought this on yourself.

Masa: *grumbles* Fine. I'll see how well they DON'T work together. Bleah.

Ditto: That's better. And now, you're off! See you at my office~!

All: [look at each other blankly]

Yoshiman: Now what?

Sapphire: I'm guessing we take this stuff....

Elzie: Shouldn't be too hard. What do we have to do?

Sapphire: ..Find his office.

Flutter: Well, these seem to be instructions....

Lupus: I don't remember which way we went the first time.

Yoshiman: Those signs weren't there before..

Sapphire: [reading instructions] I wonder if the way to his office isn't designed with some game in mind.

Elzie: What do you mean?

Sapphire: It's all very minimal, of course, but probably like an 'extra bonus' of the tour..

Masa: Now THAT sounds interesting.

Mune: When do we start?

Yoshiman: I bet. O_o;

Lupus: So we're supposed to THINK like we're in a game?

Sapphire: That was just a guess.. after all, remember who we're dealing with.

All: *think*. OOH.

Elzie: So you mean those two signs can be misleading?

Yoshiman: Well, if he's trying to make it interesting...

Flutter: I vote we take the 'obvious' route.

Sapphire: It's.. too conspicious.

Elzie: We're not going to split UP, are we?

Sapphire: No..it's just a matter of figuring out...

Lupus: You're too logical. O_O;

Yoshiman: Hm. So which is the right way, and which is the wrong way?

Sapphire: Or they both could go to the same place. It's deterimining what's better. Why are you all looking at me like that? *I* want to get a good position. I don't know about the rest of *you*, but that's what I came here for..

Others: ......

Elzie: So maybe we're supposed to split up? O_O; Odd way to run a business. Odd, but interesting. I like it, even though I *really* want to get into Spaceworld.

Flutter: Right. Who's with me? *charges away following the 'this way' sign.*

*Lupus, Mune, Techno, Nintenfreak follow him*

Others: ......

Elzie: By process of elimination, we go.. 'that way'?

Sapphire: Sounds almost.. omnious. But, if we stick with the map.. and other stuff. Well, we shouldn't have too much of a problem..

Masa: It's LAME.

Elzie: You've been nothing but trouble. Stop it.

*Sapphire, Elzie and Yoshiman walk in the other direction*

Masa: *mutters, and then follows them*

*fade to outside*

Goom: Should we attempt this again later? There is a crowd drawing..

Vorpal: NO! The more we delay, the more time that up-start has time to actually get started. Though, knowing him...

Ba: Whatever you say, boss. O_o;

Goom: what if we abduct some of the so-called new employees of his?

Vorpal: *I'm* the one in charge. Abduct some of his employees?

Goom: Yeah. Access to company secrets, etc...

Vorpal: Hmmm...

*back inside...*

Flutter: *turns map sideways* *turns map upside down*

Nintenfreak: You're a Sargent, aren't you? Shouldn't you know what you're doing?

Flutter: I *do* know what I'm doing.

Lupus: We are going the right way, aren't we?

Flutter: Shh. I'm concentrating. Look up and see if there are any signs.

Lupus: "Point B"?

Flutter: Hmmm...

Mune: Face it, you got us lost!

Techno: Yeah!

Flutter: Hah! I know *exactly* where we are.

Lupus: In a dank, dark, tunnel?

Mune: Huh. *looks at sign* Beware of boulders.

Flutter: What boulders?

*boulder rumbles past*

All: *blink*

Nintenfreak: I guess those.

*fade to Ditto, watching screen, shaking his head*

--meanwhile--

Elzie: Hm. So far we've done everything according to the instructions.. pretty uneventful, f you ask me.

Yoshiman: That's thanks to good leadership.

Masa: Bah. Too easy. Gramps will hear about this.

Sapphire: Shh. Stop complaning.

Yoshiman: That's weird. This door is locked.

Sapphire: [looking at map] It shouldn't be...

Elzie: What's this? *picks up a piece of paper attached to door* It looks like... a riddle?

Yoshiman: I hate riddles... *bangs head against door*

Masa: Like THAT's going to help..

Sapphire: Let me see that...

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