GORE's Log: Day 2

We're still hiding out in the Flying Monkey, traveling through the desolate areas of the galaxy in hopes that Emperor Akujin of the MPVP and his Apocalypse battleship do not find us. Our comrades Pharoah Yami Yoshi, Introbulus, Jim, Brooser, GameChamp, and GameChamp's Robot Team are still MIA. And Earth is no longer existant, but myself, Yami Yoshi, PL-0TT, That Guy, ???, Legion, SSG, and Legion's shy guy army(who have been crammed into the closet) have survived and we're now planning on methods of fighting back. So far we've not be able to gather a single rebel brave enough to join our resistance and have wound up being chased from plant to planet, but we keep trying. I think the next planet might be the one, I have a good feeling about it...

Meanwhile, in some other part of space, 5 lifeless figures float around... the Robot Team... well, ok, technically they've never been alive, but you know what I mean. However, they still speak.

Gamechamp: I can't believe this! we've been srtuck down by a loser! We're the only villains worth worrying about! Us! We can't be beaten by them! Never! NEVER! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-

Green: Be quiet! I'm trying to think... what do do in our current situation...

Black: Wait... don't you still have that transportation device from before, Green?

Gamechamp: (gulp) You mean... that one... with the stuff...

:Flashback:

Ash Ketchum: Hello!

Pikachu: Pika!

Gamechamp: Ack! We've been transported to my nightmare!

:In his nightmare:

Ash: Pikachu! Thunder shock!

Pikachu: Pika!

Gamechamp: (is electrified)

:end flashback:

Yellow: Red, you need to stop bringing that up. It's just a childish fear.

Gamechamp: OK, then... Mr. Blanky!

Yellow: I have no blanky.

Gamechamp: Whatever!

Blue: Let's get back to the teleporter.

Green: Well, I have modified it to take us to the exact location we need to go! No more random sidequests! Plus, I programmed it inside myself, so I don't need to press any buttons!

Black: Good! We can go back to our secret base in the woods and use the auto-repair system!

Green transports them, but they end up in another part of outer space (which unbeknowest to them was once the base until Earth destruction)

Gamechamp: It's not working...

Green: OK... new plan: we sit and wait until we either fly into the sun and die or sit and wait for some random guy to come rescue us.

Gamechamp: Great. We're getting fired from our jobs again for being late...

Yellow: Where are we working again?

Black: I think a pizza place... or maybe a noodle stand... I don't really know, we always keep getting fired and moving on...

Blue: Nothing to do but wait, then. 999 bottles of beer on the wall, 999 bottles of beer, you take one down-

Gamechamp: If we're lucky, you'll be the one to die first.

*MPVP Headquarters, Planet Krad*

Akujin: Is everyone present?

Lord Chaos: Yes sire.

King Bob: I am present.

Robobulus: We're here, but remember...

Dark Jim: ...that we're still not a part of your organization!

Phil: Nostrils reporting for duty!

Dr. Beezlebub: Looks like everyone's here.

Akujin: Good. You have the tape?

Beezlebub: (pulls out a video cassette) Yes, the tape of Pharoah Qwirtzok's fate, taken on accident by someone trying to tape the Friends finale...

*Beezelbub plops the tape into the tv. On the tv, the Pharoah and Qwirtzok are seen fighting in the desert.*

Qwirtzok: You will pay the ultimate price for cheating gods! OMEGA OBELISK!

*Qwirtzok conjures an Omega Obelisk and hurls it at the Pharaoh. The Pharaoh flutter kicks into the air as the stone spear smashes his own stone tablet to pieces*

Pharaoh: Dark Omelet!

*The Pharaoh hurls a barrage of several hundred Dark Eggs at Qwirtzok. An enormous explosion blasts the entire pyramid to smithereens*

Pharaoh: Egg Shield!

*A transparent Yoshi Egg surrounds the Pharaoh’s body and protects him from the explosion and the flying debris. The last pyramid brick finally falls to the ground and all is silent except for the whistling desert wind*

Pharaoh: I have a bad feeling about this…

*Suddenly, Qwirtzok bursts out of the pile of pyramid bricks, surrounded by a red aura*

Qwirtzok: MWA HA HA HA HA! I SHALL INFEST THE WORLD WITH CHAOS ONCE AGAIN! MWA HA HA HA HA!

Pharoah: We'll see about that! Mummificatio Egg!

*Pharoh tosses several egg-shaped rolls of bandages at Qwirtzok, tangling Qwirtzok up momentarily, but the deity then tears through the bandages 1hile Pharoah was dashing up for an attack, only to get punded several feet into the ground by Qwirtzok's oversized fist, sending him flying into an underground tunnel which leads him to a large underground room with flashing hieroglyphics on the walls, floor and ceiling in addition to a king-sized crypt in the center of the room. A talls staircase leads to a stone desk hanging directly above the north end of the crypt.*

Phaoroah: I recognize this place! It's the Citadel of Armikk-Rulens where I sealed Qwirtzok away all those years ago. This was his tomb until Lupus woke him.

*Qwirtzok enters and stands at the south end of the crypt.*

Qwirtzok: So insolant gnat, you return to our last battle site for inspiration? Sorry, but there's nothing that can halp you this time!

*Qwirtzok swings an ancient spear around while the Pharoah dashes at him.*

Pharoah: Dark Omelet!

*The Pharoah tosses a barrage of Dark Eggs at Qwirtzok, all of which harmlessly whiz by his head.*

Qwirtzok: You fool, were you even aiming for me?

Pharoah: No, that's what gravity's for.

*Qwirtzok looks up in confusion just as the entire Dark Omelet rains down on his face whil Pharoah runs along his giant arm towards his neck.*

Qwirtzok: Ah, my eyes! You fool!

*Pharoah is now hanging onto Qwirtzok's spear, which Qwirtz swings around in irritation until the Pharoah finally flies off and lands on the suspended pedestal above the tomb's south end.*

Qwirtzok: You fool, get down form there! Wait, something's differant... wait, where's your Mi-

*Qwirtzok glances downward in realization and sees that Pharoah's Millenium Egg is now rapped around Qwirtzok's neck. Pharoah grins as he holds up the blade he stole from Qwirtzok's spear.*

Phaorah: Instead of simply sealing you into your tomb, I've decided to give you the same punishment I was dealt! have fun in the Millenium Egg, and I hope your descendant winds up being more irritating the mine! (chants) Millenium Egg, snatcher of souls, seal this beast until whom can tame his evil arises. The heart blood of the sealer seals the deal.

*Qwirtzok attempts to yank the Egg off, but the necklace Pharoh tied it too is too tight for Qwirtzok to pull off and made of some material too hard for Qwirtzok to break. Back at the pedestal, the Pharoah stabs himself in the heart with the spear's blade, splattering blood over the Millenium Egg.*

Qwirtzok: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*Qwirtzok disappears, leaving behind the Millenium Egg, which falls into the giant casket, which is then locked up by theb giant lid. The hieroglyphics fade away and the citadel, which during Qwirtzok's return had looked like it was just built, now returned to the rusty and desolate ruins they used to be. And as the Citadel sinks into the Egyptian sands, sand begins to flood the room.*

Pharoah: (blood dripping from mouth) Take care... Yami.

*The pharoah then collapses lifelessly on the ground and is buried benath the Egyptian sands he he had enjoyed so much in his life...*

*The tape ends.*

Beezlebub: Pretty good, eh?

Chaos: I dunno, the love subplot felt tacked on!

King Bob: But it was pretty faithful to the book!

Akujin: It's better then the sequal.

Beezlebub: ...I think you were watching the wrong movie. ANyway, I suggest we use the news of Pharoah's fate to rap Yami Yoshi... Heh heh heh... Ha! Hahahahaa!

King Bob: YAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Chaos: GWEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!

Akujin: BWAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAA!!

Robobulus: Eh, "when in Rome.." FYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Dark Jim: BECKECKECKECKECKECK!

Phil: MAAHYAHHAFSDOIYDO(PIY~!!!!1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author #6: The flare of plot holes surrounding Earth's destruction wasn't as severe as we thought it would be, but it was still there.

Author #2: Are we doing anything to correct the plot holes?

Author #6: Have we ever?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Intro's core existence floats about randomly in a colorless and shadeless realm. A note instantaneously appears before him. It reads...~

"To the one known as Introbulus,
You are needed to restore balance to the universe. Earth's destruction will be just the beginning of the repercussions if the OGers tempt to tip the scale further--by chasing whatever they feel they need to. If they continue, the universe will become unravelled.
You are called to duty once again, this time, to stop the OGers. This Eerie will call you to life at an advantageous position for starting your quest. However, this note does not bind you to life. After you reach a result, whatever it may be, you will be sent again to death.
Do not forget the dire circumstances of your mission!"

Eerie (a small reptillian ghost): ~takes note and stuffs it into a pocket of the air~ Well?

Intro: How do I know that note was the real deal?!

~Seconds later...~

Intro: I must not fail the universe! I only hope I don't have to hurt them...

~Soon after...~

Intro: Welcome aboard the USS Trobby!

Green: Hey, thanks... don't I know you from somewhere?

Red: ~whispering to Green~ We're supervillains, remember?!

*The Planet Hilt. Another wasteland of a floating rock, comprised of an endless desert filled with various creatures. A small tribe of humans have been living off this planet for a few days now, and we now already in "savage tribe" mindset. The leadr of the tribe? A red-haired man with a sword. But today's prey was differant, as the sword-wielding man had noticed the arrival of a monkey-shaped spacecraft which had brought him trouble during past ordeals. So he poistions his men strategically surrounding the landing ramp when it opens, only to be surprised by the figures who emerge. GORE-ILLA, Yami Yoshi, Legion, Seargent Shy Guy, ??? and That Guy exited the ship only to be immediately pounced upon by the tribe.*

GORE: It's a trap!

*The humans are all unarmed, fighting with claw and tooth, but catching the OGers by surprise. However, they manage to ablib a strategy. ??? pulls Sleepytime Bomb out of the Bag O' Random Crap and hands it to That GUy who tosses it at the three humans surrounding him. The gas emitted by the bomb causes the three guerillas and That Guy, who forgot to hold his breath, to pass out cold. GORE attacks the poor guys brutally, snapping one guy around a lot more then most would think his bone structure could survive. Legion opens a plot hole while SSG trips two more of the humans into it, and Yami Yoshi uses his long-neglected Mind Crush to cripple the last solder. This fight lasted exactly the same amount of tie that it took for the sword-wielding man to run up to the group and break up the fight even though it already ended.*

GORE and Yami: SWORDMASTER???

Man with Sword/SwordMaster: Yeah, that's me.

Legion, SSG, TG, and ???: Who?

Yami: I'll explain later. How did you get here?

SwordMaster: I convieniantly happened to be in a space ship leaving Earth with those guys you just knocked out, coincidentally at the same time that the X-Bomb which I shouldn't really know about destroyed the Earth, and our spaceship was propelled to this desolate planet, where we became hunter and all until we saw your Flying Monkey and, confusing it with EVIL Scientist Dude's, i sent my men after it and they were dfeated before I could break up the fight so I just came here to explain the events leading up to that moment, I recounted how I convienantly-

GORE: Okay, shut up! I'm sure you have a lot on your mind with being ignored for a whole OG, but...

SwordMaster: What I missed an ENTIRE OG?

Yami: (sighs) Alright, cut to the next scene...

~Next scene...~

Gamechamp: So...how did you survive that explosion anyway, Intro?

Introbulus: Well I...wait, what explosion? And how did you know about that?

Gamechamp: Uh...I was looking out a window?

Introbulus: Oh...that explains it...well, I didn't, really. I'm only alive on a technicality. I'm supposed to make the OGers fail in their quest.

Blue: Really? Wow! That's what we were doing, too!

Yellow: Yeah...oh, and thanks again for picking us up on your...er...Station Wagon?

Introbulus: Yeah, don't mention it. I just hope we can stop them before something more evil happens...(thinks)Though I wonder how destroying them would return the balance...and why my watch isn't working...(/think)

(Meanwhile...)

Gore: And that's what happened.

Swordmaster: ...Did you have to use puppets?

Gore: Hey, I barely ever get a chance to use these, I'm not about to pass one up!

Yami Yoshi: Yeah...well, now we should...

(suddenly, Yami Yoshi drops to the ground)

Gore: Yami? Wuzzup? Did you find a rare Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading card?

Yami Yoshi: No...not that...it's just...I got a weird feeling in my head...and suddenly...(Looks up) I think we should go that way to find more OGers...(points up)

Gore: You mean...back into space?

Yami Yoshi: No...in THAT exact direction...

Swordmaster: ...Uh...Yami?

Yami Yoshi: Don't ask why...I sure don't know...It's just...a gut instinct I guess...like a sixth sense...

Gore: Or an OG sense? Oooo! I like that one! Let's call it that!

(Swordmaster gives Gore an odd look, while the others hardly notice)

Swordmaster: ...I need to get used to that again...

*Elsewhere, Akujin is strolling towards the Apocalypse in the Planet Krad's ship hanger. Various Kradians are seen loading up new supplies and piling up Kradian corpses which are then wheeled away in a cart.*

Akujin: Progress report.

Commander Hades: We've searched the entire ship. We haven't found any traces of Saru or any of the intruding OGers aboard.

Akujin: And what of the repairs?

Commander Hades: All the destroyed power generators are now repaired and operating at optimum efficancy. Security has been increased and 33% of the entire Kradian army now serves aboard the Apocalypse.

Akujin: Is that all?

Hades: Ah yes, and with Aeroskull's absence, we've had to fend for ourselves in the area of air-space combat, but we've been ablto create a more efficient model of the Skull Pod known as the Skull Jet.

*Hades directs Akujin to one which is being loaded abord the Apocalypse. It is a sleek jet resembling a "skull" with black eyes painted above the cockpit - and a pair of nostrils on the actual cockpit and a mouth below it. Unlike the Skull Pod, it is long and pointed, more of a triangular shape then the round Skull Pod.*

Akujin: Interesting. Alright, your report is satisfactory. Fetch Professor Beezlebub, Phil, Robobulus, Dark Jim and the MPVP Council - it's time for a road trip.

*An uncertain amount of time later on Planet Hilt, the OGers have returned to the Flying Monkey with SwordMaster in tow.*

Pl-0TT: Flight procedures. Take-off in... right now.

*The Flying Monkey shoots up, propelled by two jets on the monkey's chest and one between its legs, until it has passed through Hilt's atmosphere. Its' then that the OGers realize they're surrounded by Skull Jets on all sides - and The Apocalypse looms before them.*

Yami: Wait... my bad, I think that might have been the "bad guys are coming" signal- wait, isn't that Introbulus's station wagon over there?

~Inside the now-incredibly-roomy station wagon...~

Green: So, Boss, how do you plan to find the OGers?

Red: Introbulus?

Introbulus: I uh... Krad! They're on Krad. Or heading there, at least. (think)How did I know that...?(/think)

Red: Well, we've got nothing better to do! Blue, set course for Krad! Use the fastest route possible!

Blue: ~after typing for a half a minute at a monitor with a keyboard mounted to the wall~ Uh, Red... you might not want to do that. We'd be passing right imbetween two warring planets.

Introbulus: Let me see... ~Blue steps aside to let Intro see the screen~ Ah, those two. (think)We definetely want to cut that out of the trip. However, time is of the essence, and to get out of the way of those two would take way too long... the war zone is too big.(/think)

Red: Introbulus? What is it?

Yellow: Let him finish his inner monologue.

*Fusion and Black Skull Dragoshi continue their trek through the dark ancient catacombs of Krad*

Black Skull Dragoshi: I don’t know why, but these ruins…they seem…familiar…

Fusion: What?

Black Skull Dragoshi: Oh, nothing…I just have that feeling like…I’ve been here before…

*Suddenly, a winged skeletal dragon flies in front of Fusion and Black Skull Dragoshi*

Skelegon: My name is Skelegon. I don’t know how you two vermin managed to get in here, but you are intruding in our base! *sees BSD* Wait a second… Black Skull Dragoshi? What are you doing here?

Black Skull Dragoshi: How do you know my name?

Skelegon: You must return to us Black Skull Dragoshi…you must return to the MPVP…

Black Skull Dragoshi: …

Fusion: He doesn’t want to!

Skelegon: And I doubt an incompetent, god-modding fool knows what he’s thinking…heh heh heh…

Fusion: *clenching his fists* What did you just call me?! Warlock Punch!

*Fusion charges up dark energy with his fist and punches Skelegon’s head off. The decapitated skull shatters as it hits the ground.*

Fusion: That’s what you get when you mess with the most powerful warrior in the universe! Let’s get outta here BSD!

Black Skull Dragoshi: …

*The shattered pieces of Skelegon’s skull magically reconstruct themselves and reattach to the body.*

Skelegon: Hmm…that smarted a bit…now I’ll show you MY attack!

*Skelegon swipes at Fusion and digs his claws into Fusion’s face.*

Fusion: *clutching his face* AARRGGHH!!!

*Blinded, Fusion throws another half-assed Warlock Punch at Skelegon who evades the punch with his wings and whaps Fusion across the face with his bony tail, knocking Fusion against the wall.*

Skelegon: For a warrior with “every power in the universe”, you bore me. *extends claws* Now to slice and dice you to bits!

*Through his swollen eyes, Fusion notices a stalactite hanging above Skelegon*

Fusion: Elemental Beam!

*Fusion fires a psychedelic rainbow beam from his index finger at the stalactite.*

Skelegon: Ha ha ha! What kind of aim is that?

*The Elemental Beam hits and destroys the top part of the stalactite*

Fusion: The perfect aim!

Skelegon: What?!

*The stalactite falls and impales Skelegon against the ground.*

Skelegon: Urg…can’t…move…

*Suddenly, the catacombs start to rumble and rocks and debris fall from the ceiling*

Fusion: Let’s get outta here!

*Black Skull Dragoshi stares blankly at Skelegon’s impaled body.*

Fusion: BSD!!!

Black Skull Dragoshi: Oh…yes…right…

Skelegon: Black...Skull...Dragoshi...you...must...join...us...or...you'll--

*Skelegon’s voice is cut off as he's buried beneath the rocks and debris...*

BSD: What do you think he...

Fusion: I wouldn't put anything past the MPVP...
I can see why they would want to recruit a great member of the OG 6 like yourself. You know, because they could never trick someone like me.

BSD: ~chuckles~ Wanna bet?

Skelegon: I do.

Fusion: Hey!!

Skelegon: You managed to trap me when you ran that stalactite through me, but crushing me just allowed me to dust myself again.
Look, bottom line is, we can do this the easy way, or I can annoy you with my highly overused I'm-a-sardonic-bad-guy attitude. Both sound pretty fun to me. I have a whole list of stupid lines--

Fusion: Thunder Wave!! ~shoots elecricity from his hands at Skelegon, paralyzing Skelegon's body~

Skelegon: Heheheh. You idiots. I'm your ticket to the inside of the MPVP. Do I have to paint you a picture?

~BSD and Fusion give each other a thoughtful look. Skelegon breaks free of the Thunder Wave and makes a dash at Fusion's legs, arms first.~

(Meanwhile, on the Apocalypse...)

Robobulus: (Looking out a window) Wait! Is that Introbulus?! (points to Introbulus's station wagon)

Akujin: Yeah...what about him?

Robobulus: You never told us he was our ally!

Akujin: Yeah? Well, that's news to us, too. Must've switched sides or something...

Robobulus: Ah...well in that case...

(Robobulus backs into an air lock, and launces himself out of it)

Akujin: What does he think he's doing?!

Dark Jim: He's switching sides so that he can fight against Introbulus. That's all he really cares about. I, on the other hand, only care that darkness envelope light. A pity, really. We had worked together for so long, and now we will be working against each other.

Akujin: Yeah...but what I'd like to know is, why did Introbulus join us?

Dark Jim: Well, whatever reason he has, don't spoil it. He's a good ally, even if he doesn't know what he's doing.

(Dark Jim floats off)

Akujin: Where do you think YOU'RE going?

Dark Jim: I'm going to take a nap. Wake me when the battle is over.

Akujin: What? You can't be serious!

(Dark Jim ignores the yells of Akujin, as he floats out of the room)

Akujin: Who does that guy think he is, anyway?

*Elsewhere, Skelegon lunges at Fusion's legs, grabbing them and causing Fuse to tumble over backwards while Saru is dragged along and BSD is knocked over by Fusion's fall as well. They all land in a small crevice, which is then blocked off by a small avalanche.*

Skelegon: Well now that we're hidden from the MPVP's cameras, it's time to reveal my true identity!

*Skelegon rmemoves his mask.*

Fusion: (gasps) Saru?!

BSD: Who?

Saru: Heh heh... so you;ve herd of me, as I have of you. Skelegon was a disguise I used after destroying the real one - one made by my masters to fool even Akujin so I could volunteer to patrol down here and aid your quest as my orders are. (glares at Fusion) And make sure nothing interuppted the plan.

BSD: Cool, let's go.

Fusion: (glares at Saru, then nods stiffly) I assure you, no tampering will be done on my part; it's the seemingly "former" MPVP member I'm worried about.

Saru: (puts mask back on) I wou;ldn't need a disguise if I were still working with the MPVP! Now let's get out of this crevice, and I'll pretend that I've recruited you into the MPVP and am bringing you to the Recruits section.

Fusion: Fine, as long as you don't try anything funny.

Saru: I ask the same of you.

BSD: (oblivious to the conflict) What're we waiting for? Let's kick some MP-tail!

*The Flying Monkey rumbles as it's bombarded with laserfire from the Kradian Skull Jets.*

PL-0TT: @#%$! Their lasers are slowly eating away at our shield!

GORE: How much longer will the shields last?

PL-0TT: At the current rate, we’ll be done for in about…ten minutes…

Yami Yoshi: Ten minutes?!

Legion: There’s no way we’ll make it to Krad in such a short amount of time!

Sergeant Shy Guy: What about Hummingbirds?

PL-0TT: It will take me at least twenty minutes to create an entire squadron of them…our only hope is to have you guys fend them off from the outside...

???: What???

Legion: That's suicide!

PL-0TT: I know it's dangerous, but it at least gives a chance to survive and make it to Krad. If we survive for twenty minutes, we’ll be able to use our Hummingbirds on them. It's better than standing here and doing nothing.

Yami Yoshi: All right OGers! Let's go!

*The OGers scramble through the rickety ship as laserfire continues to bombard the hull…*

~Inside Introbulus' station wagon...~

Introbulus: The Apocalypse didn't notice us, did it?

Blue: No, not as far as I can tell.

Introbulus: Good to know that while we do have miraculous upgrades here, it's still possible to move under the radar...

Black: Hey, what's that other ship?

Introbulus: No time to think about it, we've got to head to Krad.
Oh, and we'll have to tip-toe around the edge of the war zone to get there on time and in one piece.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author #3: I don't like where this is going... Introbulus isn't supposed to be a bad guy.

Author #9: He's not a "bad guy"... He's being willed by higher-ups to help smooth out the unbalance created by the shift of Sub Space into Real Space. I'd name all of your cast as "bad guys," since they further the shift.

Author #1: Hey, who said you were welcome here?!

Author #9: Oh, I'm sorry. I was busy correcting your mistakes to remember that you hate me.

Author #4: You haven't been able to stop us in the past, and you won't be able to stop us now! Let's get him, guys!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Near Krad's surface...~

Saru: Once you're in the Kradian Army, it'll be pretty rough living. Just remember that my message will come as soon as I can send it.
Oh, and don't be stupid enough to steal the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~.

BSD: What's that doing here?!

Fusion: We'll get it back!!

Saru: Don't be rash, Fusion. You can't steal it.
The Kradian Army worships it every day. Probably because it has power so mighty, it can take away or return even a planet... The security is so tight that you'd be a pile of dust before you even blinked if you tried to steal it.
Now, the final step. Just walk up these stairs ~points to some nearby stairs~ and walk onto the surface. A guard ought to find you and drag you to the recruitment center.

Submissions and rebuttals should be e-mailed to nintendofanssite@yahoo.com. Proper credit will be given, and please tell me if you don't want your e-mail revealed on the site.